


Strangers in a Strange Land

by Copperdale (HDO)



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Five Year Mission, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Multi, Polyamory, Resolved Romantic Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, poly big bang challenge 2013, post-Star Trek XI (2009)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:43:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HDO/pseuds/Copperdale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James T. Kirk does nothing in halves; so the first time he falls in love, he goes and falls in love with not one, but two people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin, please visit the list of potential triggers in the end notes if you are concerned about triggers.
> 
> [See the accompanying artwork here!](http://moku-youbi.livejournal.com/123477.html) Moku-youbi did a fantastic job! Spoiler alert for the artwork, so choose for yourself when you want to view it! Artwork is linked in the end notes as well for this purpose.
> 
> Story beta'ed by the lovely [tailoredshirt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tailoredshirt) and [carpooldragons](http://archiveofourown.org/users/carpooldragons). Thank you, guys! <3 
> 
> I ship everything that moves, so I pretty much just end up OT3-ing everything as well to develop some semblance of harmony. I ship Kirk/Spock, I ship Spock/Uhura, so naturally I ship Kirk/Spock/Uhura. When I saw that the poly big bang community on LJ was hosting another round shortly after the ST:ID came out, I was like, hell yeah I should write out my Kirk/Spock/Uhura feelings. 
> 
> I also noticed how a lot of people have commented that they all act like a bunch of immature brats in the reboot movies, and I was like, yeah, they really do. But then I thought about how young they are in the reboot movies compared to their counterparts in the original series, and that made their bad behavior make a little more sense to me. So, I wanted to write a story in which they act like the young geniuses thrown into a stressful situation that they are, and have them grow a little from it too (through ~*~LOVE~*~). 
> 
> The title is inspired by the song [_Triad_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLVXon0r64Y) by The Byrds, which was in turn inspired by the book _Strangers in a Strange Land_ by Robert A. Heinlein. Both have heavy polyamory themes. Plus, to me the idea of "strangers in a strange land" also captures how Kirk, Spock, and Uhura's exploration within their relationships with each other mirrors their exploration of unknown space (wow, that's cheesy.)
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy! :D

Kirk hadn’t really been sure what the captaincy would be like, but he hadn’t ever expected a diplomatic mission to end up with him and Spock pressed up against each other in a dark closet.

“So what do we – _ow,_ you stepped on my foot!” Kirk hisses.

“My apologies, Captain,” Spock whispers, “but please keep your voice quiet, if you must speak at all. We cannot risk the Banauro from hearing us.”

“We can’t just _stay_ here, though. We need to make a plan as to how we’re gonna win!” Kirk whispers back intensely.

What had begun as a pleasant diplomatic exchange with Banaurian leaders had quickly turned into something else when Kirk decided they were done skirting the topic of Banauro joining the Federation and directly asked if they were joining or not. Apparently Banaurians only yield in such circumstances if the party that instigates the challenge wins what is essentially a high-stakes game of hide-and-seek. 

“Given that we are in a concealed space, it would be wise to take this moment to think about our strategy. However, I require you to remain _quiet_ in order for me to do so,” Spock whispers tersely.

“We’re sitting ducks in here! We should be on the move, not in here with someone’s moth-eaten coats.”

“Moth-eaten – ” Spock starts to say, sounding slightly puzzled, when they both hear a door opening and footsteps approaching. Kirk suddenly feels one of Spock’s warm hands clap over his mouth.

The footsteps pause momentarily, but resume just a few seconds later. They eventually fade away as the Banaurian leaves the room. Kirk starts to let out his held breath underneath Spock’s hand when he feels the tips of Spock’s fingers from his other hand conforming to the side of his face.

_I apologize profusely, Captain, for invading your mind like this, but this will provide us a means to communicate without producing noise,_ Spock says to Kirk across a mindmeld. 

While unexpected, Kirk barely flinches. Unlike the only other mindmeld he’d had with the older Spock, this one feels like nothing more than a slight nudge against his mind.

Kirk tries to reply, but he knows the message isn’t getting across when he feels a slight brush of suppressed frustration.

_Keep trying, Captain. Just focus your words very carefully, one at a time. It will get easier as our minds become more accustomed to each other._

_Okay. You – hear? Can you hear? Do I make sense?_

_Yes, Captain, I can “hear” you, although I do not know if you make any more sense than usual via this new means of communication,_ Spock replies. His tone is clipped, yet it curiously also has an undercurrent of what Kirk knows has to be amusement, palpable in a way that is impossible through verbal communication.

_Ha, ha, at least this is working. Get your hand off of my mouth already or else I’ll lick it. I’m not that heavy of a breather._

Spock jerks his hand away as if it’s on fire and rubs it on his pants. _I left my hand in place as a cautionary measure in the case that the mindmeld surprised you into producing sound._

_This isn’t bad, actually,_ Kirk muses. _You’re a resourceful man, Spock. We should use this more often._

_This does not feel invasive to you, Captain, because I have many shields up. Likewise, while I cannot expect you to have the same level of shielding proficiency as myself, I ask that you at least try however you can to protect your thoughts and feelings from transferring through the meld._

_Uh, okay, I’ll try my best. Smell good._

_Captain,_ Spock chastises.

_Sorry! I didn’t mean to even say that! It slipped?_

Kirk catches a fleeting touch of what must be the mindmeld equivalent of an eyeroll. _Let us focus on the task at hand, Captain. What do you propose we do next?_

Kirk thinks back to the layout of the castle, although it is challenging when he is also aware of how warm Spock is, so close to him. _Were there air vents? Chutes? Dumbwaiters?_

_I think I understand the logic of your idea well enough, even if I am unfamiliar with that last term._

_A dumbwaiter is an old Earth design. It was originally a pulley system that delivered items up and down floors of a building through a chute, although modern designs are mechanized. It’s like a little food elevator!_

_I understand. I believe I saw something like that in one of the visiting rooms we were in earlier._

_Oh?_

Kirk then sees an image of the door of the dumbwaiter-like system that Spock happened to notice before. 

_I cannot guarantee it can manage our size and weight. But your earlier assessment of our situation is correct; investigating this so-called “dumbwaiter” is a risk we must consider taking, as we cannot remain here without chancing more dire consequences._

_I don’t know, I’m feeling less excited about these guys joining the Federation if we have to cram ourselves in a dumbwaiter for them._ Kirk then shifts self-consciously away from Spock as much as he is able to in the cramped space.

_Captain, we cannot surrender now when we are this close to securing a valuable alliance for the Federation._

_Don’t worry, Mr. Spock, I’m still all in. Go ahead, lead the way out of here then. Hot, naked, want to touch –_

_Captain,_ Spock snaps. 

_Sorry, I can’t help it!_

\--

Miracle of all miracles, the dumbwaiter hypothesis worked. Kirk may have gotten to half-mast being shoved up against Spock inside the dumbwaiter, but what matters is that it actually worked. 

After they snuck out of the dumbwaiter, the head Banaurian leader eventually found them out on the castle courtyard (designated as the “base” of their hide-and-seek game). Kirk almost felt bad when he saw how crushed the Banaurian leader had looked when ze saw them. 

As the leader dutifully signed the contract they had drawn up for their alliance with the Federation, ze had wheezed out what must have been the Banaurian equivalent of a defeated sigh. And apparently, that was that; the Banaurians really did settle their most staggering trials and tribulations with hide-and-seek.

The next day, still riding high on the success of their first diplomatic mission, Kirk strolls into the mess hall and scans the room for who he wants to eat with today. When he sees Gaila, he can’t help but grin wolfishly. It’s been awhile since he’s spent time with her. 

The last time they had seen each other was during the formal launch ceremony for the Enterprise (held primarily to recognize Kirk as its new captain, given that the Enterprise had already launched and then some.) He’d known that she would be on his ship, as Scotty himself had demanded that she join the crew in the flurry of recruiting that took place shortly after Kirk was commissioned as captain. But he had still been pleased as hell to see her in the lines of crew members boarding the ship, looking perky as ever. He had winked at her and she had winked back, but that had been the extent of their interaction.

Now that Kirk sees her presently, he has an overwhelming urge to talk to her. The same day that Scotty had demanded that she be part of the Enterprise’s crew, he had also filled Kirk in on how she had survived Nero’s attack. The only part of her survival that had depended on dumb luck was where she had been on the Farragut at the time of the attack (more specifically, not in a section of the ship that had been instantly shredded.) On top of being lucky enough to have been in a mostly intact chunk of the ship, she had also been near a set of escape pods. 

And that’s when Kirk had started really understanding why Scotty wanted her on the Enterprise so badly. Because she knew the difference between models and generations of Starfleet ships, she knew that she happened to be on a ship that had yet to be refitted to the newer design of escape pods that allowed an escapee to board an escape pod without donning an emergency spacesuit. Gaila used what had been once considered an idiotic flaw in ship design to her advantage by immediately putting on an emergency suit and searching the ship for any other survivors. 

Once she had rounded up the handful she was able to find by searching the chunk of ship she had been stranded in, she instructed the other survivors to similarly suit up and board additional escape pods. Then she guided them on a search-and-rescue mission of the Farragut as well as nearby remains of other ships until Starfleet arrived with rescue crews several hours later. Her actions ended up saving over one hundred people that would have otherwise died. 

As Kirk approaches the table Gaila was sitting at, watching her type away on a PADD as she hastily scoops parfait into her mouth, all he can think is how fucking _cool_ she is. 

“Gaila!” he announces as he sets his tray down on the table. She startles a little and looks up. It takes only a moment for her to register who he is and then jump out of her seat and tackle him.

“Jimmy!” she shrieks, then laughs right in his ear. “I’m so glad we ran into each other!”

He laughs back as she releases her hold on him and lets him sit down. “Yeah, well, you can call me up anytime you want to see me, babe. There’s no need to wait until we run into each other on this big ship.” 

Gaila shakes her head slowly, looking at him like he’s dense. “Oh, Jim, no, I really can’t. I simply just don’t have time anymore. Scotty keeps me so busy!”

Kirk furrows his brow. “Busy, how?”

Gaila reaches across the table to push one of his shoulders, smiling. “Not like that, dummy. You’re so easy to make jealous.”

“Oh, please,” he answers smoothly, “you know that’s not my style at all.” 

Her PADD chirps, and Gaila looks down at it to type a reply at hyper-speed. 

“Um,” Kirk starts. “So what does Scotty have you do?”

“Oh, you know, a little of this, a little of that,” Gaila answers distractedly, still typing. “Right now we’re working on a booster to the warp drive. I know he wants to get all the kinks worked out before we arrive at the next supply station, but seriously, when he’s on a roll, there’s next to nothing that will stop him, and I’m just along for the ride!”

“What do you mean, a ‘booster’ to the warp drive?” he asks, slightly worried.

“Don’t worry about it, Jimmy,” she says, waving a dismissive hand at him. Then she flicks up away from the PADD to make a holographic screen projection appear above the PADD.

“You know I hate it when I’m called that,” Kirk complains good-naturedly as he tries to manipulate the corner of the holograph to have it face him. Gaila bats his hand away and then sets the screen to turn opaque on the side facing him.

“Jimmy,” she coos sweetly, but the expression on her face says otherwise. “You’re not laying eyes on me and Scotty’s baby that easily.”

Kirk gives her a sultry smile. “I could change your mind.” 

“I’m not having sex right now, Jimmy,” Gaila answers casually, already absorbed in her PADD again. 

“What about tomorrow?” Kirk teases.

“Jim, _stop,_ ” Gaila says on a laugh. “I mean it.”

“Wait, you mean to tell me that _you’re_ celibate?” Jim says incredulously. “Why?”

“Many of my peers died in Nero’s attack. I mean, I had sex with most of them. That’s why this is important. Anyhow, to honor their losses, I’m choosing not to have sex for awhile.”

“Oh.” Jim had not expected that. “So, is that an Orion thing?”

Gaila rolls her eyes. “No, it’s a Gaila thing.”

“Okay.” Kirk nods to himself. “But Gaila, I _know_ you. How is that possible for you?”

“Oh, I just masturbate like crazy,” Gaila answers nonchalantly. Then she strikes a key on her PADD exaggeratedly. “Done! Ugh, Scotty can be the _worst._ ”

Kirk bursts out laughing. “So is that where all your free time goes?” 

“Goes where?” Uhura asks, suddenly standing at the edge of the table with a tray in her hands.

Kirk flinches. “My favorite Chief Communications Officer!” he announces, perhaps a little too loudly. 

Uhura just scowls down at him. 

“Nyota, you made it!” Gaila greets cheerily, but she restrains herself from pouncing on her until Uhura has put down her tray. 

“Hi there,” Uhura answers on an exasperated laugh, hugging her back.

Gaila bounces back down to her seat and motions for Uhura to take one as well. “Sit, sit, sit! Join us!”

Uhura gives Jim a wary look, then sits down. “Thanks.”

“I forgot to tell you, Jim, but I was waiting here to eat lunch with Nyota. Isn’t this great! It’s been awhile since we’ve all been together!” Gaila grabs one of each of their hands and laughs delightedly. Uhura just glares at Kirk. 

“Yeah, when was the last time?” Kirk asks. Uhura looks like she’s suppressing the urge to murder him. 

“When I caught you in our dorm room back at the Academy, trying to persuade Gaila into giving you access to the Kobayashi Maru codes,” Uhura supplies icily.

Gaila’s PADD chirps, and she abruptly lets go of their hands to check the message on her screen. “Ugh, are you kidding! Sorry, guys, but Scotty apparently needs me to look at something right now. I doubt it’s really an emergency, but he has zero patience. You should catch up!” she says as she packs up her PADD and picks up her tray. “Nyota, we need to do this regularly, and Kirk, let’s not wait so long to run into each other again! Bye, you two!” 

Then she bounces off to return her tray, and Kirk and Uhura are very alone with each other.

Uhura, sitting at the edge of the table adjacent to the edge Kirk is at, abruptly moves to the opposite edge of the table where Gaila had been sitting, putting more space between them.

“Wow, why are you so mad at me?” Kirk asks candidly. “Are you still mad about the Gaila thing? I didn’t even know you were that upset about it.”

Uhura rolls her eyes and sighs, then takes a bit of her quiche before answering. “It’s not that.”

Kirk leans in slightly when she doesn’t elaborate. “Then what is it?”

Uhura glances off to the side, looking uncomfortable, before looking at Kirk directly again. “What did you do to Spock?”

Kirk gives her an incredulous look. “What do you mean, what did I do to Spock? I didn’t do anything.”

Uhura narrows her eyes at him. “You sure about that? Yesterday, on the Banauro mission?”

“I mean, I, um, what did he say?” Kirk asks, and realizes that he’s fucking blushing. Way to get a boner for your First Officer and then get his hot and somewhat scary girlfriend pissed at you about it. 

“Why don’t you just tell me what happened? I’d rather hear it from you anyways.” Uhura sets her jaw.

Kirk sighs and runs a hand roughly up the back of his head. “We had to play hide-and-seek with the Banaurians in order to win their alliance with the Federation, and that required us getting into…close quarters,” Kirk finishes lamely. 

“How close?” Uhura demands.

“Like, really close?”

Uhura just tilts her head at him, lips pursed.

“Okay, we, like, had to touch! And we had to keep quiet, so he mindmelded with me. I got excited! He’s really hot, but it was still really weird!” Kirk exclaims.

“ _What?_ ” Uhura hisses. “You _mindmelded with him?_ ”

“Yeah?” Kirk asks, slightly bewildered. “I mean, is that a big deal? I’ve seen him do it before, when he had to get information out of an unconscious Romulan. And old Spock did it to me too, to show me stuff. It wasn’t a big deal.”

Now Uhura looks like she could cry if she wasn’t so mad. “Yeah, it’s a big deal! I didn’t think he did that with anyone – ” she starts, then cuts herself off abruptly.

Kirk scrambles for a moment, processing what she must be implying. “Oh.”

She averts her gaze, then picks at her quiche. “Sorry. That was inappropriate. Forget it.”

“Was he not honest with you about what happened on the mission?” Kirk asks, plowing on anyways.

Uhura answers him with more silence.

“Okay,” Kirk says quietly. “We’ll forget it.” 

“You should eat,” Uhura says, pointing with her fork at his tray and giving him a furtive look up through her eyelashes before looking back down at her tray again.

Kirk looks down at his meal, which is a mystery mix of grains and maybe lentils. He groans.

“Right. I need to talk to Bones again about my nutrition plan. He keeps thinking I need to eat like a rabbit.”

Uhura furrows her brow. “Who’s Bones?”

“Um, Dr. McCoy?” Kirk replies with a laugh. “Didn’t you know that’s his nickname? He hates it, you should use it.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t realize that,” Uhura replies. “Sorry, I don’t really know him that well.”

“Oh, yeah,” Kirk says. “Well, that’s okay. You have some time to get to know him, you know.” He chuckles, trying to lighten things up.

“Yeah. Four years and three months,” Uhura says, somewhat wearily.

They make pleasant if superficial conversation after that, Kirk carrying most of it. Uhura looks relieved when her communicator beeps at her, and she excuses herself politely. 

Kirk pinches the bridge of his nose once he’s sure she’s gone. “Fuck.”

Bones slides into the seat Uhura vacated. “What’s eating you?”

Kirk looks up and smirks tiredly. “Not this, that’s for sure.” He pushes his tray towards Bones, his bowl of food only half-eaten.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Bones grumbles, digging into a bowl of stew. 

“Yeah, well, change my meal plan. A captain cannot remain virile and fit for duty on this,” Kirk jokes. 

Bones rolls his eyes. “You don’t need to be any more virile, that’s for sure.”

Kirk pulls his tray back to himself and chews on a bite of his food thoughtfully. “Bones, do Vulcans mindmeld during sex?”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Bones mutters, then swears under his breath. “I am not answering that.”

\--

Unsurprisingly to Kirk, whatever is going on with Uhura and Spock only gets worse.

Kirk notices it most prominently on the bridge. Spock and Uhura, ever the consummate professionals, had always kept any evidence of their personal relationship very discreet while working. Uhura would sometimes touch Spock’s shoulder, and Spock would sometimes nearly brush against her when peering over her shoulder to look down at her screen. It had been nothing compared to the sensational display they gave the day of Nero’s attack, but Kirk notices it. 

Except that he is fairly sure that whatever it was they had before no longer exists, by the way they seem to be barely tolerating each other. Uhura is more obvious than Spock about it, but Kirk isn’t sure if that’s just Spock being Vulcan and repressive about things, or if it’s because he’s the one that fucked up. Kirk is leaning towards the latter, if the way Uhura glares daggers at Spock has anything to say about it. 

The Spock-being-the-fuck-up scenario only seems more plausible in light of the fact that Uhura also seems to continue to barely tolerate him as well. But since that’s kind of always been her way with him, it’s not that much of a change. Whereas before there were times when she would begrudgingly laugh at his jokes along with the rest of the bridge crew, now she seems to only manage not to openly glower at him while patiently explaining something to him like he’s an idiot.

After a week of increasingly moody atmosphere on the bridge during their shared shifts, Kirk is sitting in his bed reviewing requests on a PADD before turning in. After a few innocent supply requests, he opens first a request from Uhura, and then one from Spock.

Kirk reads and rereads their requests. Then he lets his head fall back against the wall. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

\--

“Admiral Rodriguez, we thank you for convening with us on this matter,” Kirk says crisply, clenching his hands clasped together on top of the conference table a little harder. It’s better than clenching his teeth. “I trust that you have had time to review the summary of our request?”

Most of his senior ship officers are around the conference table with him, including Scotty, McCoy, Sulu, and, of course, Spock and Uhura. Those who are there are the ones that were able to switch their shifts at the last minute to make the meeting; Kirk made it clear to them that while they should try, it would not have been the end of their careers if making the meeting would have been more than mildly inconvenient. 

On a vidscreen hanging above one end of the conference table is Admiral Rodriguez, looking less than thrilled to be present. 

“I have indeed had time to review your request, Captain Kirk,” the Admiral replies curtly. “You are requesting to divert from your path towards the ship’s next checkpoint to make a diplomatic stop at a nearby planet. While I understand the argument of your request and must admit that what you propose is strategically sound, what I do not understand is why this has come up now, when every step of your voyage has already been very intentionally planned and is already underway.”

Before Kirk can reply, Uhura is already speaking. “If I may, Admiral, I can provide more context to this request.”

The Admiral raises an acquiescing hand to her. “By all means.”

“Admiral Rodriguez,” Uhura starts, doing her best to sound authoritative but her voice still wavering slightly from nerves, “the Federation has a neutral relationship with the Jaxniaclthu planet. The Jaxniaclthusians consider it highly inconsiderate when anyone who they have met before has an opportunity to greet them, even if only superficially, and does not act upon that opportunity.”

Spock jumps in. “Admiral, if I may provide a counterargument.”

The Admiral gives Spock a bored look. “You may do so.”

Spock looks at Uhura, seated across from him at the table, and then back to the vidscreen. “Admiral Rodriguez, while Lieutenant Uhura is correct, it is not necessarily the logical choice to divert to the Jaxniaclthu planet for a diplomatic meeting. According to my calculations, there is only a roughly 3.4% chance that the Jaxniaclthusians would detect our ship and correctly identify it as a Federation vessel if we continue on our intended course. We are also en route to our next supply station, which has been greatly anticipated by many of the departments of the Enterprise for the vital work that they perform. This is correct, Lieutenant Scott?” 

Spock then looks at Scotty, sitting between him and the vidscreen. Scotty goes slightly red in the face. 

“Ah, yes? That, that is right,” Scotty says nervously. Looking uncomfortable, he glances at Uhura as he shifts slightly in his seat.

Spock looks back to the vidscreen again. “Moreover, the Jaxniaclthu planet is not part of the Federation. Given that the Federation’s last contact with them involved a lengthy two-week diplomatic affair that ultimately did not result in their joining the Federation, it does not seem like it would be of any advantage to the Federation to continue a relationship with them.”

“Maybe they had shitty diplomats,” Kirk says cuttingly.

Admiral Rodriguez sighs. “Lieutenant Uhura, while I understand your concern, Commander Spock has some valid points. The Federation simply does not have time to say hi to all of its acquaintances throughout the universe whenever they’re in the neighborhood, especially when they are not part of us and there are supplies to gather. And Captain, watch your mouth.”

“If you’re looking for valid points, Admiral, I was simply suggesting another one,” Kirk replies, straight-faced. 

The Admiral stares at Kirk disdainfully. “Captain, may I remind you that your ship currently has no diplomats onboard. While your Chief of Communications appears to be aspiring to such a role, Lieutenant Uhura is not, in fact, a diplomat. Therefore, I fail to see how your crew could even begin to overcome what you perceive to have been the faults of the diplomats who previously made contact with the…” the Admiral pauses, concentrating, “the planet in question.”

“With all due respect, Admiral,” McCoy says sternly, “A communications officer may be a better bet than a diplomat. Communications may very well be the most important department on a ship, because without them, we would have no idea what the devil anyone was saying to each other. And given that you are sending us out on a five-year exploratory mission without any permanent diplomats aboard, I would say that implies a certain level of trust in our current crew to handle first encounters with new lifeforms. Sir.”

Uhura looks at McCoy, visibly taken aback. McCoy gives her a subtle wink.

The Admiral rubs his brow tiredly. “I think we’re starting to get off topic. Anyone else have a _relevant_ opinion they want to share?”

Uhura clears her throat. “Admiral, I didn’t get to finish my point earlier.”

“Then finish, Lieutenant,” the Admiral says curtly. 

Uhura purses her lips. “The Jaxniaclthusians find disregard from even acquaintances so offensive that it could pose a danger to us or any other Federation vessels that pass near them. In fact, given that our relationship with the Jaxniaclthusians is very undeveloped, we are even more at risk of retaliation from them than we would be if our relationship with them was stronger. This was made clear in the notes of the diplomats who engaged with the Jaxniaclthusians previously, which appear to have either been overlooked or ignored by whoever plotted the course of our exploratory mission. I myself was not aware of the situation we may put ourselves in until I happened to be studying the planets we would soon be passing, as I have been doing since our mission began.”

Uhura looks to Kirk. He gives her an encouraging nod.

She looks back to the vidscreen and continues. “Sir, I must impress upon you that diverting for a diplomatic meeting would not be a waste of our time; in fact, it may benefit the Federation and even prevent the Federation from coming under fire.” Uhura then sits up even straighter, right at the edge of the table, and stares at the Admiral.

Admiral Rodriguez considers Uhura’s words for several moments. “Lieutenant Uhura, do you estimate that this diplomatic meeting would take two weeks?”

“On the contrary,” Uhura responds. “The first meeting took so long because it was fraught with tension over the Federation’s insistence that the Jaxniaclthusians join us. Reading the diplomat’s notes, I am curious to see if the they would be more receptive to joining at this point, now that they have had more time to consider the possibility. I hypothesize that they find pressure to make what feels to them a hasty decision very offensive as well. If these assumptions are correct and we behave appropriately, we could potentially gain a new member of the Federation within a few days.”

“You’re awfully confident in your assessment, Lieutenant,” the Admiral says begrudgingly. “Captain, are you as confident in her assessment?”

Kirk suppresses a smirk. “Yes, completely.”

“So you reject Commander Spock’s argument?” 

Kirk nods once. “Yes, I do.”

The Admiral gives a considering nod. “Commander Spock, do you have any further commentary?”

“Only that I support whatever decision the Captain makes,” Spock answers coolly. 

The Admiral nearly rolls his eyes. “Very well. Knowing my idealistic counterparts, I would be hamstrung for rejecting this request after such a moving speech about why you need to go do this. I would send a diplomat to rendezvous with your ship, but I can imagine how well that would go over. Captain, don’t ever say that I never do anything for you, but you better not screw this up.”

Kirk clenches his hands together harder. “Noted.”

“Alright, I’ll sign off the request. Come back to me if it goes to hell. I’m terminating the call now.” Then Rodriguez’ hand reaches towards the camera, and the screen turns to black.

Kirk rubs his face. “What a fucking blowhard.”

McCoy sighs. “I’m thinking an Admiralty reassignment is in your future, Jim.”

Kirk looks at everyone around the table, assessing them. Uhura is, predictably, glaring at Spock. 

“Lieutenant Uhura, see me in my office at 17:00,” Kirk orders.

She furrows her brow slightly, but says only, “Yes, Captain.”

“And Spock,” Kirk says, turning towards Spock seated next to him, “see me at 17:00 as well.”

Spock, face unreadable, also only says, “Yes, Captain.” 

\--

Kirk looks up from his desk when the door chimes. “Computer, open door.”

The door slides open, and Spock walks up to Kirk’s desk, hands clasped behind his back. “Captain.”

The door chimes again. Kirk says again, “computer, open door.”

When the door slides open again, Uhura glances first at Spock’s back, then at Kirk, face blank. She walks up to stand beside Spock. “Captain,” she says solemnly.

“Have a seat, both of you,” Kirk says wearily, gesturing to the chairs across from his desk. They sit stiffly, completely silent.

“Okay,” Kirk begins, “so I hate to ask, but what has gotten into the two of you?”

“Pardon?” Uhura asks, looking offended. 

“Captain, I am not sure how to answer that,” Spock replies, sounding genuinely puzzled.

“Look, I know how smart the two of you are, so don’t play stupid with me.” Kirk leans forward on his desk. “If you don’t cut it out, we’re going to have a serious problem. I can’t afford to have two of my lead officers barely being able to be in the same room as each other, and I definitely can’t afford to lose either of you to a transfer. So, I’m setting down some new ground rules for how we’re going to behave with each other from now on.”

Kirk pauses a beat. When Spock and Uhura just give him slightly uncomfortable looks, he continues. 

“So, those ground rules. One, do not pull shit like those requests again. Come talk to me first. Individually, together, on the bridge, in the sauna, I don’t fucking care, just _talk to me first._ You do realize that the kinds of requests you submitted ping our advising Admiral, correct? You _directly_ circumvented me.” Kirk shuts his eyes and takes a breath. “Not only was that a bunch of wasted time, because believe me, that could have probably been a bit more cut and dry if, I don’t know, we had been a unified front. But that was also just fucking _embarrassing_ for everyone involved.”

Uhura and Spock look somewhat stunned.

“Captain, my intention was not to embarrass anyone,” Uhura finally says. 

Kirk raises his eyebrows. “You sure?”

Uhura gives him a petulant look. “I would not have made such a major request unless I thought it was truly warranted. I was only looking out for the crew.”

“But the type of request you made is only intended for emergencies in which you think your ship is at serious risk of harm and that your Captain will not listen to you. What made you believe that I wouldn’t listen to you?”

Uhura gives Spock a sideways glance. “Perhaps it was foolish of me to have made such an assumption, but I figured you would agree with Commander Spock over me.”

“Is that so?” Kirk turns towards Spock. “Spock, you’ve been quiet. Explain to me again why you think diverting to Jaxniaclthu is not worth the trouble. And give me the short version.”

Spock sits up a little straighter. “Captain, I will decline to give you my original reasoning for countering Lieutenant Uhura’s request, because I must profess that I now agree with Lieutenant Uhura’s logic regarding this situation. I also agree with the Lieutenant’s word choice of ‘foolish’ to describe the means we chose to bring our assessments of the situation to your attention. In this case, I do believe that your preferred casual style for collective problem solving would have been far more advantageous.”

“You got that right,” Kirk replies candidly, tone sharp with sarcasm. Then he feels himself softening at the slightly guilty looks the both of them are giving him. 

“Spock, as much as I appreciate your style, we’ve got to recognize that the top priority throughout our exploratory mission is the ship’s safety," he summarizes to Spock. "On that note, Lieutenant Uhura, even though I recommend different means in the future, I still commend your brilliance for catching a potential danger that everyone else missed, and for making it a big deal about it. That’s the kind of leadership I’m looking for,” Kirk says to Uhura with a hint of pride in his voice.

“Thank you, Captain,” Uhura replies, trying to play it cool but looking a little proud herself.

“And between Spock’s logic, Uhura’s diplomatic chops, and my charisma,” Kirk pauses to smile slowly at the two of them, “I’m sure we’ll charm the pants off of them and make another ally.”

Uhura rolls her eyes, looking slightly humored despite herself.

“We’re still figuring this whole starship crew thing out. Forgive and forget, to the both of you,” Kirk says, looking at both of them with a tight smile. “But let’s not do that ever again,” he warns.

“Noted,” Uhura says. 

“Affirmative,” Spock follows.

Kirk leans back in his chair. “And you see,” he gestures to both of them, “that’s all it takes. You managed to be in the same room together for a conversation about work, and no one was maimed or killed. Congratulations. This is how we are going to do this from now on.”

Uhura and Spock spare a furtive glance at each other at the same time; both look away quickly when they notice the other looking. Uhura lets out a little huff of a sigh and crosses her arms. “Yes, Captain.”

Kirk studies Spock, who is giving Uhura a look that is anything but emotionally neutral; he looks, Kirk thinks, remorseful.

“Spock, you’re dismissed,” Kirk announces. Spock schools his expression and gets up stiffly, pulling the bottom hem of his shirt down primly. 

“And hey,” Kirk adds, and Spock looks up at him. “Thank you. I’m glad this ended up working out.”

“We have your adept leadership to thank, Captain,” Spock says, then turns and leaves the room. 

“Why am I still here?” Uhura asks, tone flat with irritation.

“Because we’re going to have a talk as just friends now,” Kirk replies.

“Who says that we’re friends?” Uhura asks standoffishly, tightening her crossed arms a little harder.

Kirk flinches. He knows that they’re not best buddies, but even that surprised him. She had seemed to warm to him just minutes ago.

“Okay, what _happened?_ ” Kirk leans towards her. “Did you and Spock break up?”

She glares at him. “That’s none of your business.”

“Well, it is when you can’t stand me any more than Spock, and I wasn’t even your apparently shitty boyfriend. Seriously, what is it? How can I make this right? I believe that I did something stupid, so just come out with it already.” 

Kirk goes for a playful smirk, but it falls when Uhura continues to stonewall him.

“Okay,” Kirk says, leaning back and clapping his hands together tensely. “Today’s a day full of new things, so here’s something else we’re going to do. Let’s play a game of something, anything, and if you win, you have to be polite to me but never have to endure being called my friend again. If I win, you have to start hanging out with me.”

Uhura stares at him neutrally for several moments.

Kirk smiles, waggling his eyebrows. She rolls her eyes.

“Fine. But I get to pick the game,” she answers coolly.

“Sure, I’m not afraid.” Kirk’s smile turns to a wicked grin. “What you got in mind?”

Uhura gives him a mean smirk. “Tennis. I played varsity in high school and college. Almost considered trying for pro at one point.”

Kirk tries to recall ever playing tennis. He can’t. He typically ditched his high school gym class to make out with girls and boys under the bleachers. 

Kirk returns her smug expression. “Great. Ping me a time and I’ll be there.” 

\--

The next day, Kirk finds himself facing off Uhura on the fitness complex’s multipurpose sport court. She’s in full tennis gear, shoes bright white and the pleats of her tennis skirt perfectly pressed. She’s bouncing lightly from foot to foot, swinging her racket lightly. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she yells at him from the other side of the court, goading him.

Kirk, recognizing his clear disadvantage in the situation, decided beforehand he would play to his strengths – he’s going topless for their game. He bounces around to match her energy, and winces when he whacks the wires of his racket into his palm a little too hard. 

“You bet, Lieutenant. I’m gonna – ”

“Serve!” Uhura yells as she throws up a tennis ball and expertly thwacks it to him.

Kirk lets out an undignified yelp as he dodges the ball. 

Uhura just gives him a wicked grin. 

\--

After a shaky couple of games, Kirk starts getting the hang of it – he’s no slump in terms of physicality, after all. He just prefers fighting, these days recreationally rather than literally. 

They both decide on a five set match over a three set match, pretty much because Uhura suggests it and Kirk is not willing to look weak. Uhura wins the first two sets, but then Kirk wins the third, and then somehow the fourth. 

They’re both pouring sweat, and the only sound in the otherwise empty court (being Captain has its advantages) is their labored breathing and increasingly louder grunts as they volley back and forth.

Kirk hits the ball, and Uhura lunges for it and misses.

“Deuce!” she yells.

“What?” Kirk yells back.

“I’ve already told you what that means!” she yells again, more at the ground than at him as she bends over and puts her hands on her knees, breathing hard.

“Tell me again!” Kirk shouts, grinning.

“That means…” she says, then pauses to catch her breath as she stands up and walks over to the ball. “We’re tied at three points apiece,” she finishes, then throws the ball at him tiredly. “Serve.”

Kirk catches the ball and then does just that. Uhura gets another point on him. 

“Advantage!” she yells triumphantly. 

“Let’s see about that!” Kirk answers. After the next serve, Kirk scores again. And then again. 

“Advantage!” Kirk yells cheekily. 

Uhura just scowls at him, seemingly too tired to muster up a biting reply.

After the next serve, it only takes five volleys before Uhura reaches for the ball and misses. It’s a little more anti-climatic than Kirk would have expected.

“Set,” Kirk says at a regular volume, tired. Uhura just stares at the ball on the ground for a few moments, panting, then looks up at Kirk across the court.

“Set,” she agrees. 

“So…” Kirk says nonchalantly as he starts walking over to her side of the court. “How does it feel to lose a tennis match to a total rookie, almost-tennis-pro?” 

She just adjusts the sweatband over her forehead and gives him a tired grin.

\--

Riding high on both his more overt win over Uhura as well as his subtler win of Uhura, Kirk asks Spock to come see him in his office the next day. Kirk found something that worked, and he was going to exploit it.

“Spock, so glad to see you!” Kirk announces jovially when Spock enters the room. Spock walks up to his desk, his hands neatly clasped behind his back and his face carefully neutral.

“Good afternoon, Captain. You seem to be in…high spirits. May I request why you called me into your office?” Spock asks.

“You’re not in trouble, Mr. Spock.” Kirk gives him a flirty smile. “Not yet, anyways.”

Spock’s face flinches ever so slightly. Kirk is going to have to catalogue that for analysis later.

“No, no, Mr. Spock, it’s nothing bad, I promise. Actually, I just wanted to let you know that we should start hanging out. A Captain needs to know his First Officer pretty well, after all. And hell, Spock, after what we’ve been through, being all business together seems like such a waste.” Kirk grins at him. “So? What do you think?”

Spock hesitates for a moment, gaze flickering away momentarily and then back to Kirk. “I appreciate your gesture, Captain, but I protest on the grounds of professionalism. I disagree that a Captain and First Officer should be more than professional comrades; a more personal relationship could potentially jeopardize either party’s objective reasoning in dire situations.”

Kirk leans forward and looks up at Spock through his eyelashes, eyebrows raised in a way that communicates how _unimpressed_ he is. “You think an argument about professional boundaries is going to work on me? I make it my mission to make this the most inappropriate ship in all of the ‘Fleet. Not only am I not afraid of you jeopardizing my objective reasoning, I _welcome_ it,” Kirk says suggestively, waggling his eyebrows. 

For all that he’s pushing back at Spock for his argument about professionalism, he really isn’t sure why he’s trying to win Spock over with cheesy flirting. But it seems to be working, because Spock almost looks like he’s _blushing._

“This seems to be important to you, Captain. And I wish to maintain a positive relationship, especially in light of my grievous errors yesterday and the day before. I am beginning to realize the utmost importance of maintaining positive relationships with my crew members, especially for as long of a mission as we are currently engaged in.”

“That’s great, Mr. Spock,” Kirk replies, giving him a lazy grin. “I’m glad you’ll indulge me.”

Spock pauses again, then says, “On one condition, however. I would like to select our activity.”

“Activity? Just one?” Kirk asks teasingly. He also notes that he apparently tries to make friends with some bossy people.

“I am amenable to engaging in as many activities as pleases you, but I request that we begin with a game I am quite fond of.”

“A _game?_ Vulcans play _games?_ ” Kirk asks in mock-surprise. “Tell me more.”

“Yes, Captain, Vulcans enjoy a variety of intellectual games,” Spock answers neutrally, seemingly trying his best to be unflustered no matter how hard Jim tries. “I am curious, are you familiar with the Terran game of chess?”

Kirk beams up at him. 

\--

Kirk was expecting a chess match with Spock to be intense, but he had expected it wouldn’t get intense until they actually started playing.

“Oh, so…” Kirk says, eyeing the three-dimensional chess set warily. “You might have mistaken whatever this is for Terran chess.” 

“Captain, I am afraid that I have to inform you that you are the mistaken party in this instance,” Spock says as he sets up the chess pieces on the top chess board. They’re seated at one of the recreational room’s several tables.

“Well, okay then,” Kirk mutters, scratching his chin as he studies the vertical sequence of chess boards connected to a thin, tall arc. “But seriously, I have never seen anything like this before.”

“It’s a rather recent permutation of the original game. It’s simply chess played in three dimensions rather than in two dimensions. I will teach you the method of playing it, if you will allow me,” Spock explains carefully, looking like he’s trying to be patient for his slow human friend.

“Well, we weren’t quite this fancy in Iowa,” Kirk answers derisively. “Alright, show me how this bad boy works.”

Spock gives him a quizzical look. “I would ask why you have assigned this game a gender, but I can only assume that that is another Human colloquialism of yours.”

Kirk just chuckles and shakes his head. Spock gives him a little smirk.

After giving him a short explanation on how to play, Kirk picks up on the game quickly. Soon they are engrossed in the game, equally matched and equally clever. 

Bones walks up, arms folded across his chest. “I didn’t know about this,” he mutters, studying their positions on the board.

“What, that I actually know how to play chess? I’m not a dumbass, Bones,” Kirk says distractedly at the board, brows furrowed in deep concentration. He spares Bones a glance when he’s answered with silence.

When they make eye contact, Bones darts his gaze to Spock meaningfully, then looks back to Kirk and just raises a questioning eyebrow at him. 

Kirk gives Bones a slow, calculating smile. “Bones, why don’t you take a seat? You can get to know Mr. Spock a little better too.”

Bones just grunts and pulls up a chair. Soon Sulu and Chekov walk up to say hi and end up watching as well. More crew members gather, the crowd gaining momentum as more join. Soon they have an audience, their low chatter punctuated by groans and whistles as Spock and Kirk each take their long-meditated turns. 

When Spock wins the game, the crowd claps and whoops. Kirk just grins like crazy and shakes his head. Spock’s got that little smirk again, focused at Kirk.

Kirk looks for Bones to his right. Through a gap in the crowd, he sees Uhura standing near the entry to the rec room, arms crossed over her chest. When they make eye contact, she drops her arms and turns to leave.

\--

“Hey, you ready?” Kirk asks when he sees Uhura in the hallway outside the sport court. She’s already dressed in her tennis outfit, racket in hand. 

“Yeah, just,” she says distractedly, then pauses to look down the hallway.

Kirk looks up to see Spock coming down the hallway. He’s flushed and wearing exercise shorts and a thermal-regulating exercise shirt. 

“Spock, hey,” Kirk says cheerfully with a wave. 

“Captain,” Spock says curtly to him with a nod, slowing his walk down to a stop. He gives Uhura a furtive glance. “Lieutenant Uhura.” 

Uhura just looks at him, then looks at Kirk, then looks at Spock again, subtle triumph on her face.

Kirk was going to just let whatever this was slide, but to hell with just letting things slide.

“Okay, well,” Kirk says abruptly. “We were just about to play some tennis. See you around, Spock.” 

Kirk rushes into the sport court, then once inside whips around to face Uhura.

“Okay, what the hell was that?” Kirk demands. 

Uhura looks caught. “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, Uhura,” Kirk replies testily. “I saw whatever that look was you gave to Spock. Tell me already what’s going on.”

Looking away, Uhura bites her lips and then lets out a frustrated sigh. She snaps her gaze back to him.

“Okay, you want the truth? Fine. Spock broke up with me because he’s attracted to you.”

“ _What?_ ” Kirk asks incredulously. “Are you _joking?_ ”

“No, I’m not. I would never joke about something like this,” Uhura replies, more softly than before. 

“Huh,” Kirk says, still flabbergasted. He crosses his arms and rubs his chin. “So, what, he can’t be with you because he’s attracted to someone else? Doesn’t he realize that that’s, y’know, normal?” Kirk says sarcastically.

Uhura sighs. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Uncomplicate it for me, then.”

Uhura lets out a breath. “Well, in general Vulcan culture, same-gender and same-sex attraction is still taboo. And after the destruction of Vulcan, the stigma has only been amplified due to the emphasis on rebuilding the Vulcan race.”

“So, they mean literally rebuilding the Vulcan race, I take it,” Kirk guesses.

“Yes. In addition to rebuilding Vulcan culture and space, reproduction has also definitely become a major priority now. It’s not something really talked about openly because it’s taboo to talk about sex, but Spock told me about it when he broke up with me.” 

“Ah,” Kirk says. “So, I take it that relationships that can’t produce baby Vulcans are now considered not just reprehensible, but also a moral crime against the Vulcan race? Great, I love it when people rationalize their homophobia.”

“Captain, you have to admit that while harmful, their rationalization is pretty logical. This is also an extremely stressful and traumatic time for Vulcans as an entire species, so it’s not surprising that they would default to what gives them a sense of control, which in a Vulcan’s case is logic,” Uhura says, a bit exasperatedly.

“Yeah, but it’s also _stupid._ I mean, he’s half Human, not to mention _he has a pulse._ Is he really shocked that he happened to find someone who isn’t a chick hot?” Kirk says derisively.

“Captain, you should know that only a couple hundred years ago, Humans were not much better,” Uhura reprimands. “Unconditional acceptance of same-sex and same-gender relationships is only a recent occurrence in general Human culture. You can’t just assume that all other species will be like you.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean that I have to accept it,” Kirk says, a little petulantly.

“Fine, so be it,” Uhura snaps.

“So you’re pissed that he broke up with you over me, but you’ll defend his reasoning?” Kirk questions.

“I know,” Uhura says resentfully, crossing her arms over her chest tightly. “It doesn’t make sense. Just, whatever, I’m confused, and I’ve dealt with it poorly. I’m sorry,” she says shortly. 

Kirk feels himself soften at her. He gives her a rueful smile and places a hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright.”

She tenses when he touches her. She looks up at him and asks hesitantly, “So, are we still friends?”

Kirk is shocked to see the uncertainty on her face. He smiles, slowly. “Yeah, we’re still friends. Is it going to be okay if I’m friends with Spock too?”

“Yes, it’s fine. It’s wrong to expect you not to be, when you’ve had nothing to do with this,” Uhura says remorsefully. “And it was wrong to use you like that to get back at him. Please know that I didn’t plan it that way originally.”

“Oh, yeah? Are you saying you had other motivations for being nice to me other than making Spock jealous?” Kirk takes his hand off and gives her a cheeky grin.

Uhura clears her throat, avoiding his gaze. “…Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

Uhura rolls her eyes. “Yes, I had other motivations. I wasn’t just being nice to you in order to make Spock jealous.”

Kirk grins even harder. “I knew it! You like me!”

Uhura lets out a long-suffering sigh. 

“Hey, really, don’t worry, I’ve been used way worse,” Kirk says, gesturing at her reassuringly. “I had a boyfriend in high school who had me help him with a B&E.”

Uhura balks. “What?”

“Yeah, I got arrested and he didn’t, but my mom bailed me out and I broke up with him right after,” Kirk says flippantly, then looks at the tennis racket in his hand as he twirls it. “So, we gonna play tennis anytime soon?”

Uhura just gives him a horrified look. 


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks pass more or less without incident as they make a few milk runs on the way to Jaxniaclthu. Kirk falls into a regular schedule, with Spock and Uhura unknowingly competing with Bones for the people that he spends the most time with. (Bones acts like he’s grateful, but Jim can tell that he’s a little hurt. He makes it up to him by dropping by Med Bay at random times and stays until Bones yells at him to leave.) He alternates between work, meals, exercise, and a little recreation, falling to bed most nights into a dead tired sleep. He’s healthy, happy, and excelling more every day as the youngest Starfleet Captain in history. 

It’s more than he could have ever imagined in his wildest dreams when he was just a deadbeat in Iowa, stuck and spiraling out of control with a momentum that had almost become too strong to pull out of alive. But James T. Kirk does nothing small; so when he put his mind to get out of Riverside, not only did he actually somehow manage to get out of the sucking black hole that is Riverside, he catapulted into _deep space_ and is now the fucking _Magellan_ of the universe. 

The thing is, no one mentioned that for every moment an explorer gets a sweet taste of discovery and adventure, there are countless moments of monotony and maintenance. Defeating Nero and saving Earth was less than a blink of an eye in the face of mind-numbing conference calls, required physical fitness hours, and mountains of checklists and rosters. He is fucking _bored_ most of the time.

He mulls over this while slowly stirring his drink, off to the side of a ballroom full of quietly mingling Jaxniaclthusians. He’s watching Spock and Uhura conversate with a couple of them, the intense concentration on their faces as they listen to their hosts making him want to laugh. Go figure that two of the most serious people he knows get along like a house on fire with some of the most stoic aliens he has ever met. 

Even though the entire evening has been so dull that it makes him want to jump out of his skin, he can’t help but be captivated by his two very diplomatic officers. They don’t look like they feel like he does, vibrating under their skin from holding too still for too long. They are cool, calm, collected, completely at ease with an alien race whose sole record in Starfleet consists of a footnote warning that they might _kill_ if someone isn’t polite enough for them. Just as they’re fascinated with their hosts, he’s fascinated with them.

He catches Spock sparing a glance at Uhura. As if she can sense all eyes on her, she looks to Spock, then to him across the room. Spock’s gaze eventually follows hers until it’s locked on him too. He swears they then both smirk slightly at him.

Still looking at him, Uhura raises her eyebrows and nods her head once towards the crowd, a silent chastisement for him to start socializing again already. Jim just smiles at her and takes a sip of his drink.

He starts striking up conversations with random Jaxniaclthusians again, but has only half his mind in the reserved small talk. He keeps glancing over at Spock and Uhura making fast friends in the most socially restrained way possible. Their only slip in decorum is how their arms brush from time to time, with how close they are standing next to each other.

With the other half of his mind not on conversation, Kirk starts hatching a plan.

\--

Kirk parries another blow from Spock with his arms crossed in front of his face, then ducks and swerves around him to get behind him. Spock spins around deftly, which Kirk should have known would happen; Spock is never slow enough for him to actually get in a cheap shot from the back.

They’re sparring, in a form of old Vulcan martial arts that he asked Spock a few weeks ago to teach him. Spock still usually wins, but he’s already getting better. They come to a private sparring room about once a week, take off their shirts, and duke it out. Kirk is still delighted by how much chest hair Spock has.

“So,” Kirk gasps, “how’s Uhura?”

“She is doing well,” Spock replies, not even sounding out of breath, as he blocks a hit from Kirk.

“So I noticed that you’re talking again?” Kirk ducks a blow. 

Spock pulls back and hesitates. “Yes.”

“Ah, so you don’t deny it?” Kirk replies, bouncing around in anticipation of another swing. “That was quite the Cold War you two had for awhile there.”

Spock straightens up and regards Kirk with suspicion. “Please hold the spar for a moment.”

Kirk grins. “Gladly.”

“Why do you reference Earth’s history to describe the relationship between me and Lieutenant Uhura?” Spock asks.

“You’re a genius, I’m sure you get it.”

Spock purses his lips at Jim. “After a period of…difficulty relating to each other, we came to a resolution. We decided that the highly compatible connection we share is more important than the disagreements we have had.”

Kirk crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow at Spock. “So you still like her?”

“I enjoy the Lieutenant’s company greatly.”

“First of all, just call her by her name. And second, I think you _really_ enjoy Uhura’s company.”

Spock just furrows his eyebrows at him. “I am assuming that you are referencing our past romantic relationship. I would rather not discuss such matters openly.”

“C’mon, Spock,” Kirk teases. “It’s just us guys in here. Let’s talk it out. I think there’s still something there, yeah?”

Spock takes several moments to reply. “Perhaps.” 

“I knew it! And you’re a lucky dog that she ever forgave you, because you were a serious _dick_ to her, so many times. You should, like, make it up to her somehow.”

“What methods would you suggest, Captain?” 

Kirk grins lewdly. “I’m shocked you would even ask me, Mr. Spock. Surely you know my reputation.” He swings a playful punch at Spock’s shoulder.

Spock, literally and figuratively, rolls with the punches; he grabs Kirk’s wrist and holds him still. “Your reputation does suggest that you have developed very effective skills of persuasion when it comes to romantic relations. It only seems logical to go to you for advice on such matters, especially when the target of my affection is human.”

“Mr. Spock, you flatter me so. I’ll give you some safe starter tips, yeah?” Kirk breaks Spock’s light hold and puts his hands on his hips, grinning stupidly but too excited to stop himself. “Tell me, how did you snag her the first time? I imagine it was fucking awful, but it might help me to know what sort of magic you’ve got already.”

“I asked Nyota if she would like to share a meal with me. I continued asking her to spend time with me until she asked if I was her boyfriend. It’s a rather human term to describe a romantic relationship, but I conceded that, yes, I was her boyfriend.”

“Wow, what a snoozefest. Let’s up your courtship game, yeah? Hey, Nyota likes music, right?”

Spock cuts him a warning glare at the use of her first name.

“Right, so, Uhura, she likes music. Do you play any instruments?”

Spock looks thoughtful for a moment. “I play the Vulcan lyre. I practice in my quarters regularly.”

“What! You’ve been holding out on us, man! You gotta use that. I used to play acoustic guitar in high school, and let me tell you,” Kirk says enthusiastically, then cuts himself off. He was about to blurt out _it got me so much pussy,_ but he doubts Spock will appreciate that. So instead he finishes, a little lamely, “…it, uh, really worked on the ladies.”

“Did it not work on human males as well?” Spock asks curiously.

“Um, yes? Although, uh, I guess my flings with dudes were a little more, how do you say, to the point? Well, not always, but.” Kirk can still recall how much that slap had hurt when a week after he had broken up with Ariel, the guy had happened to catch him behind the school cafeteria playing guitar for a girl. He had learned to wield his tool of seduction more carefully after that. 

But more interesting to him at the moment than that memory is how Spock’s eyes spark a little at his answer. Huh.

But the moment is there and gone, and Spock asks, “So you suggest that I prepare a piece for Nyota and play it for her?”

“Yeah man, maybe pair it with some romantic pre-Surak Vulcan love poetry.”

Spock raises his eyebrows at Kirk, clearly impressed. “You are familiar with pre-reform Vulcan literature?”

“What can I say, I’ve always had a thing for Vulcans, and I figured it would come in handy someday when I met a cute one,” Kirk says flirtatiously. In reality, he really has no clue about pre-reform Vulcan literature, which he hopes Spock can’t sense through their skin-to-skin contact as Spock successfully tackles him to the floor. Spock pins him belly-down with a knee on his back, holding Kirk’s hands by the wrists. 

“Alright, alright, I tap out, you thug!”

Spock lets him up and just smirks at him. 

\--

“I’d like to suggest our board game next time, Captain,” Uhura mutters under her breath as Kirk takes another one of her chess pieces from the three-dimensional chessboard. 

“Nah, this is good for you,” Kirk flashes her a grin. “I’m just helping you build some character. And think, once you’ve figured out how to win against me, you can go and beat Spock with your eyes closed. Trust me, he sucks at chess.”

Uhura rolls her eyes. “I know he beats you at chess regularly. Which is good, because if anyone’s ego needs to be taken down a peg or ten, it’s _yours._ ”

“But seriously, you should try him at it sometime. He loves 3D chess,” Kirk says, trying for casual. He knows instantly that he tried a little too hard when Uhura cuts him an accusing glare.

“Oh? You suggesting something?”

“Yeah, so what if I am?” Kirk says defensively. “You have to agree that you two still have something, so why not just admit to it and get back together already? You two together must be _so_ hot.” 

Uhura puts up her hands at that. “Oh my god, I am about ready to get up and leave.” 

“I love it when you get huffy, that’s how I know I hit a nerve,” Kirk says teasingly. “And I love hitting a nerve, because that means I’m right.”

Uhura glares at him. “That’s really none of your business.”

“So I am right?” Kirk goads.

“We’ve talked things out,” Uhura replies, a little guardedly. “We found that we could…agree on something,” she ends vaguely.

“Agree on what?” Kirk asks. 

Then Sulu swoops in from out of nowhere and slides into the booth next to Kirk. 

“Hey guys!” Sulu announces, smiling incandescently.

“Hey Sulu, what’s up? You seem pretty happy,” Kirk says neutrally, taken aback.

“You bet I am,” Sulu says, then chuckles to himself. “I think I’m in love.”

“Yeah? Well, congrats, man,” Kirk answers, then gives Sulu a perfunctory pat on the back. Then he studies the chessboard again, plotting out his next potential move. “You gonna take your turn anytime soon, Uhura?”

She ignores him. “So who is it, Sulu? Anyone we know?”

Sulu blushes. “Yeah, but you have to promise to not laugh.”

Uhura grins at him. “Spill it!”

“It’s Chekov,” Sulu answers shyly.

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Uhura practically coos. “You two must be so cute together. Where is he now?”

“He’s working a shift. I’ll see him again in a few hours.”

Kirk looks up from the board. “Wait, isn’t he like, a child? You too, for that matter?”

“I’m twenty-two, you know. And I mean, according to most places on Earth, he’s not a child either?” Sulu says warily. “We’re waiting to, y’know, until he’s eighteen anyways. It’s only a few weeks away.”

“Wow, that’s more than I needed to know,” Kirk answers, putting his hands up. “Sorry, Sulu, guess he’s just not my type.” 

“What, twinks?” Uhura says nonchalantly as she takes her next move. She plucks one of Kirk’s pieces off the chessboard. 

“What’s a ‘twink’?” Kirk asks, puzzled. 

“Oh, nothing,” Uhura grins at him slyly. “I’ve been studying old Earth slang lately. If you’re so curious, go look it up yourself. And really, when I think about it,” Uhura says, then pauses to look him up and down, “you’re kind of a twink yourself.”

Kirk just shakes his head. “Whatever you say. But Sulu, I mean, what’s the point? Why not just pick someone who’s, y’know, legal to screw?”

“Because love is more than just that, Captain,” Sulu says with a dreamy look on his face. “Haven’t you ever been in love?” 

Kirk rolls his eyes. “Yeah, about a hundred times a day.” Then he makes his next move on the board, a little hastily. 

When he looks up at Uhura, she is giving him a small but undeniably warm smile. 

Then she looks down at the chessboard, considers it for a moment, and takes her move. She snatches up another one of his pieces. 

“What!” he balks. “I think you were lying before when you’d said you’d never played before. No one is this good their first time.”

Uhura just grins at him. “You’re not the only one that picks things up quickly.”

\--

“Hey, ma,” Jim greets the vidscreen. Winona Kirk beams at him through the screen, sitting in her similar-looking bland Starfleet quarters with the lights set to ship’s morning. Jim is sitting at the desk in his quarters, lights dimmed for ship’s night.

“Hello, my baby boy,” she grins. “Look at how healthy you look. My _baby boy captain._ I’ll never get over this.”

“Ma!” Jim whines, and petulantly pulls off his gold command shirt over his head, leaving him in his black undershirt. “I told you to stop that.” 

Problem is, he can’t help but grin either. He loves seeing her so proud of him.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, my Jimmy, the _modest_ one, you hate all the attention,” she says sarcastically, her faint laugh lines crinkling up around her eyes. “So how are you, baby boy captain?”

“I’m good,” Jim answers. “A little bored, but good.”

“Oh?” She gives him an assessing look. “Don’t worry, you don’t look like you’re ready to tear the ship apart with your teeth yet. I’ll call Pike when it gets to that point. I’d give it a few more weeks. I mean, really, they gave you a five-year exploratory mission? I really do think I might need to worry.” 

Jim rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but laugh a little too. “It’s fine, ma. I’ve been keeping myself busy.”

“Have you been making friends?” she asks suddenly, raising her eyebrows at him expectantly. 

“As a matter of fact, _yes,_ I have been,” Jim answers triumphantly.

“Oh? Who? Are they nicer than that doctor? I swear, Jimmy, you convince the most unlikely people to be your friend.”

“Oh, um,” Jim stalls. “Funny you say that. Remember the half-Vulcan guy from the Nero incident?”

Winona makes a disgusted face. “ _Jimmy,_ the man tried to kill you, multiple times! Would it hurt you to make an actual good friend every once in awhile?”

“Spock is great! We play 3D chess together,” Jim starts to list, counting on his fingers, “talk about science, Vulcan wrestle, y’know, good, wholesome activities. And I told you a million times, I convinced him to choke me! It’s all water under the bridge now anyways, it’s cool.” 

Winona just shakes her head. “I thought it was bad enough when you made him your first officer. Now you gotta go and make friends.”

“Ma, just think of it this way, I know now how to get along with people I disagree with now! Come on, ma, it’s _good, really._ ”

Winona sighs. “Any other new friends?”

“Yeah, his girlfriend, Uhura.”

“Jimmy!” his mother yells. “No _sir._ You may _not._ ” She points at him warningly.

“Ma! Can’t you trust me?”

“Give me reason to, and that’s the day I’ll trust you.” She purses her lips and raises her eyebrows at him again.

“You just said you hated Spock! Wouldn’t you want me to steal his girlfriend, then?”

“Jimmy, more important than making friends, you gotta make sure you get along with your crew,” she says exasperatedly. “Promise me, my son, that you’ll do what’s best for them? I promise, what’s best for them is best for you, too.” 

Jim looks at her soberly. The shadow of all her past disappointment in him lies in her stern expression.

“Yeah, ma, I got it.”

\--

“Mr. Spock!” Kirk greets cheerily from the table when Spock walks into his quarters. “You ready to be crushed?” He signals to the 3D chessboard before him with a flourish.

Spock slips into the seat across from Kirk. “I do not predict that there will be at any time during our game any physical force strong enough to crush me, so I do not know what to prepare for.”

Kirk grins and shakes his head. “You’re funny, you know that? You think I don’t understand that that’s all a running joke to you. Admit it, you understand every illogical human phrase out there.”

Spock gives him a warm little smile. “Perhaps I feign ignorance not just for my own amusement, but for the amusement of my audience as well.” 

Spock takes a sip from the cup of Vulcan tea that Kirk had prepared for him just minutes before. “It appears you set the board for you to go first, Captain. I suggest you start the game for us now.”

“Gladly,” Kirk replies, then makes his first move on the board. “You won last time, remember?”

They spend a couple of turns in silence, thinking deeply. 

“Spock, do you ever think about the first day we met?” Kirk asks.

Spock takes several moments to answer, seemingly still engrossed in the board. “Only when I wish to reflect on my past transgressions in order to learn from them.”

“Ah,” Kirk answers, feeling surprisingly at a loss for what to say. 

“Captain,” Spock says seriously, then fixes his gaze on Kirk. “I find it perplexing that a relationship that began so poorly could change so drastically, but I find that I accept the change readily and without question. I greatly enjoy the bond that I share with you, and only wish to strengthen it over time.”

Jim finds himself averting his gaze from Spock’s earnest one. Spock’s confession leaves him feeling unexpectedly exposed.

“I, well,” Jim starts, faltering. Then he makes himself look at Spock before he says his next words. “The feeling’s mutual, Spock.” 

He looks back to the board and takes his next turn, his cheeks feeling hot.

Spock clears his throat before speaking. “How has your evening been since our shift ended?”

Jim looks up at Spock with a baffled expression. Spock is making _small talk._ “Not much, just talked to my ma over vidchat for a bit.”

“You speak to your mother regularly,” Spock says, more as a statement than a question.

“That I do,” Jim answers crisply, then winces. Right. Spock’s mom. 

“I hope your mother is well,” Spock supplies formally. “Captain, I do not wish to burden you with administrative tasks during off-duty hours, but I wish to inquiry on whether or not you will approve my pending request for leave.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Jim says, then bends to the side to pick up a PADD off the floor. “It’s no problem, sorry I made you wait. It must’ve slipped my attention.” 

Jim flips through the pending requests and finds Spock’s. He chuckles and looks up at Spock.

“Mr. Spock, this request is for on-ship leave, is only for one day, and it’s two months away. You lead a well-planned life.” 

Spock gives him a small smirk. “The merits of leading an intentional life cannot be overstated.”

Jim laughs. “I don’t even want to try to understand what that bullshit means.” He approves the request, places the PADD back on the floor, and sits up to take his next turn. 

\--

Considering the odd requests they had gotten from all the new beings they had encountered thus far, the Pendrobians’ request didn’t seem so bad.

“Have you ever had any formal dance training before?” Uhura asks Kirk, hands on her hips and one foot tapping the floor of their reserved dance room.

“Nope,” Kirk replies, popping the “p”.

Uhura nods consideringly. “Great, just great, I have to make our fearless leader learn how to dance convincingly within two days.”

Kirk grins slowly at her. “Remember, I’m a quick study. And you’re a great teacher. An almost-pro-tennis player _and_ a practiced ballroom dancer? Who could ever doubt the raw talent of my crew.”

“I’ll conceded to the latter, but let’s hope the Pendrobians agree about you being a quick study,” Uhura responds ruefully. “You’re pretty, but you aren’t pretty enough to distract from two left feet.”

“Who are you saying has two left feet?” Kirk asks in mock indignation. He starts shuffling from side to side and clapping his hands together in a slow beat. Uhura grimaces at him. When he picks up his pace and adds a little head swerve, she lunges for his forearm.

“Oh my dear god, _stop._ First of all, your form is _terrible,_ ” she protests. Then she moves closer to him and reaches around to place a hand on his lower back. 

He jerks up stiffly, not expecting her casual touch.

“Yes, straighten up, that’s the first part. All the way up,” she says as she moves her hand up his back and presses in-between his shoulder blades. She reaches up the other to press against his chest, countering the pressure from the hand on his back. “Keep your chest up too, like that.” He just nods. She seems to not notice it as moves behind him and places a hand on each of his shoulders. Then she tilts them back slightly, saying “and shoulders back.” She circles around to face him again. “There,” she says triumphantly.

“I feel stupid already,” Kirk complains, a bit lamely. He’s still feeling her hands on him.

She rolls her eyes. “I hope you like disappointing the Federation because dancing made you feel ‘stupid’. Here, we’re not even done fixing your form.”

Then she takes him through a whirlwind of dance moves, stringing them together in a draft of a choreographed dance. 

“Okay, now, spin, yes, good, and dip!” Uhura instructs as Kirk leads.

“Dip!” Kirk mimics as he cradles her back into a deep dip. 

“Hold it,” she orders. “Don’t wimp out here. If you break the dip too soon, you ruin the whole ending.”

“Uh, okay,” Kirk says awkwardly, acutely aware of how close their faces are. “So what do I do?”

“Act like you like me, dummy,” she teases, smiling.

“Okay,” Jim answers, distantly. He notices that her smile is reaching all the way up to her eyes. Without even thinking, he looks down at her lips.

“So have you been talking to Spock lately?” Jim blurts. 

“Um,” Uhura answers. Jim pulls her back up from the dip quickly and lets her go with an ungraceful jerk.

“Yeah, I have, actually,” she continues hesitantly, smoothing out her uniform. 

Kirk gives her an expectant look. “So?”

“It’s good,” Uhura responds vaguely. “I had missed him a lot.”

“That’s great,” Kirk says, a little forced. “So, maybe you could let me know what he wants one on-ship day of leave for about two months from now?”

“Captain, that’s…” Uhura grimaces, seemingly involuntarily. “He’s taking that day off for his mother’s birthday.”

“Oh,” Jim says tonelessly, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. “Oh, shit.”

“He used to go to Vulcan every year to visit his mother for her birthday,” Uhura continues. “I always wanted to go with him to see Vulcan and meet his mother. I mean, she invented the Universal Translator. But if he had dared to bring me to Vulcan, that would have more or less been a declaration that we were engaged. So I, y’know…” Uhura trails off. “I bided my time. I figured I had it.”

“I see,” Jim observes, unsure of what else to say as everything being said races through his mind. 

“But that doesn’t matter,” Uhura recovers, looking embarrassed. “Want to get dinner? We can hold off on practicing more until tomorrow.” 

“Sure,” Jim says uneasily, and follows her out of the room.

\--

Miraculously enough, their elaborate dance-off with the Pendrobians goes off without a hitch. The Enterprise’s dancers, which is just a rag-tag team of anyone who knows any sort of style of dance, trade off dances with the Pendrobians, a race in which dancing is akin to breathing and eating.

After several numbers by the crew (including a traditional Russian dance led by Chekov; who knew he had it in him), Kirk has to congratulate himself and Uhura for how relatively well they do considering they had all of two days to prepare. He isn’t surprised in the least when the Pendrobians announce after the conclusion of his and Uhura’s finale number that the Pendrobians have won. 

Kirk just laughs, carefree, as the Pendrobians erupt into cheering over their victory. He looks around himself and is glad to see that most of the Enterprise’s dance crew doesn’t appear to be any more invested in winning than he is. Besides, there’s no time for being a sore loser when the raging party the Pendrobians promised is about to start. 

After he and Uhura exchange greetings and pleasantries with the necessary parties, Kirk starts heading off to the buffet line, Uhura’s arm linked through his. 

“Well, I must say, congratulations, Captain, I’m proud that all of our hard work paid off by losing,” Uhura teases. 

“Did you really think we were going to win?” Kirk replies, tone equally affectionate. He looks down at her with a smile as they walk. “I’m just proud of myself for not stepping on your feet.”

“Well, I’m just glad you didn’t get the yips,” Uhura jokes.

“The ‘yips’?” Kirk grins. “I don’t even know what that means, but I’m going to go ahead and deny that I would ever get the ‘yips’.” 

Uhura laughs. It’s a beautiful, throaty sounds, Kirk thinks. “Yeah, you’re right, it doesn’t suit you.”

Uhura pauses before they reach the buffet line, causing them to both stop. Kirk sees Spock standing at the end of the line, looking slightly uneasy with his hands stiffly clasped behind his back.

“Why don’t you go and loosen him up a little, yeah?” Kirk suggests. “This is a party for cryin’ out loud, and someone should remind him of that.”

Uhura looks up at him and raises her eyebrows in mock pity. “But who will make sure that you can walk by yourself properly? We’ve been attached at the hip for two days now, I’m worried you’ve forgotten how to hold yourself up on your own.”

“Oh, ha ha,” Kirk replies with a smile, and she smiles back, eyes crinkling. 

He looks up to scan for Bones. He spots him near the bar, looking slightly grumpy as a Pendrobian tries to make conversation with him. “Don’t worry, I’ll make do. Go, go,” he urges to Uhura, breaking their arm link and gently directing her forward. 

As she starts walking towards Spock, she looks back at him over her shoulder and smiles, shyly.

A warm feeling spreads through his core. He smiles back at her, unable to stop himself even if he had wanted to try.

“I am such a good friend,” Kirk announces as he walks up to Bones. The Pendrobian from before has apparently given up.

“Likely story,” Bones replies sarcastically. “What have you done now?”

“You are witnessing the reunion of our wonderful First Officer and lovely Chief Communications Officer,” Kirk says, transparently self-congratulatory. 

Bones screws up his face at him in something mixed between confusion and disgust. “You’re _matchmaking_ now? Do I need to make sure that one of these aliens hasn’t traded your personality with that of my _Great Aunt Paula?_ God rest her soul,” Bones ends with a mutter.

“Who says I can’t help a couple of friends find their way back to each other?” Kirk asks. He watches as Uhura laughs at something Spock says, then looks at Bones and signals towards them. “Just look at how great they get along.”

Bones gives him a suspicious look. “Did you try to bang either of them?”

Kirk grins. “Only in my dreams.”

“You’re terrible,” Bones replies flatly. 

“Nah, you think I’m great,” Kirk says brightly, nudging Bones with an elbow. 

He looks back over at Uhura and Spock. Uhura laughs again, this time placing a hand on one of Spock’s forearms as she leans towards him. 

Kirk looks back at Bones quickly. “Hey, I’m getting a drink. They’ve even got real alcohol, not synthehol. You want anything?” 

Bones studies him, still giving him that suspicious look. “No, I’m good, I already got something.”

“Suit yourself,” Kirk says as he’s brushing past Bones towards the bar.

\--

Kirk wakes up in a world of pain he had not known since the days before his captaincy. It’s almost nostalgic, if it didn’t feel like his head is about to split open and his stomach on the verge of committing outright violence. 

His communicator goes off next to him on his nightstand. He immediately covers his ears from the searing pain the innocent beeping induces. 

He clumsily taps the communicator to accept the call, nearly swiping it off the nightstand in the process. “Oh god, Bones, end my life now,” he moans.

“ _You’re such a baby. Get over yourself and take those hangover hypos already,_ ” Bones grouses over the line.

Kirk only then notices the hangover hypos tucked in the shelf of his nightstand. He paws for one and jabs himself in the neck with it, hissing at the slight prick of pain.

“Right, thank you,” Kirk groans after a moment.

“ _You might want to take more than one, after the night you had._ ”

Kirk reaches for the communicator and flops back down into bed, holding the communicator above his mouth. “What did I do?”

“ _Nothing to hurt the alliance with the Pendrobians, but I’m pretty sure you were trying to impregnate a few of them through sheer force of dry humping,_ ” Bones answers drily.

“Dancing, Bones, I was dancing,” Kirk grumbles. “They like dancing.”

“ _Yeah, and now they’re going to have a great impression of human culture, good job._ ”

Kirk purposefully ignores that. “So, anything else?”

“ _That’s it, Jimmy. Once you’d had a little too much fun, I dragged your sorry ass back to your quarters and put you to bed._ ”

Kirk thinks. “Don’t call me Jimmy,” he says after a moment. 

He wishes he could remember more of the night, but he does recalls pieces of it well enough: instigating dance-off circles with his crew; dancing _really_ closely with several Pendrobians; Spock and Uhura dancing with each other slowly, sensually. 

“ _Okay, well, as much as I love hearing you breathe over the phone, honey, I’ve got work to do. And your follow-up meeting with the Pendrobians starts in fifteen minutes, so you better get your horndog ass out of bed already._ ”

“What?” Kirk rubs his eyes and checks the time on his communicator. “Shit, fuck, thanks, ugh, I’m out,” Kirk groans, then cuts the call. 

\--

Later that day, after the follow-up meeting, a few touch-base calls with Starfleet, a shift, and a meal with Bones, the two stroll into the rec room to kill some time.

Kirk stops in his tracks at the spectacle before him.

A few tables back, Spock is sitting in a chair to face Uhura, who is perched on the edge of the table. Spock is playing his Vulcan lyre while Uhura sings along. Her voice is both husky yet lilting, a warm complement to the floaty tones from the lyre. 

They’ve got a small audience around them, yet they only have eyes for each other.

“Cat got your tongue? What is it?” Bones asks, tugging on Jim’s elbow impatiently. 

“Um, nothing,” Kirk says, then jerks away from Bones’ touch abortively. “You know, I think I’m just gonna turn in.”

“Jim!” Sulu calls over the music. Kirk notices him walking up to him from across the room. 

A few people cut irritated glances at Sulu. Kirk catches out of the corner of his eye, though, that Uhura is looking at him and not Sulu. She smiles and winks at him conspiratorially, then locks eyes with Spock again.

Sulu stops in front of Kirk, smiling like he’s got a secret.

“Hey, Sulu, what’s up?” Kirk says distractedly, having to focus on the special Enterprise crew handshake with Sulu a little harder than usual.

“Not much, man,” Sulu says with a grin. “You really cut up last night, yeah? Good thing you’ve got Bones, otherwise I don’t know if you would have ever come home. Those Pendrobians looked like they wanted to keep you, you were having so much fun.”

“So I hear,” Kirk admits guiltily, and chuckles for good effect. “Did you have fun too?”

“Yeah, yeah, definitely,” Sulu answers. “Had a good night, too, if you know what I mean.”

Kirk rolls his eyes and lets out a short laugh. “Good job, man, I’m happy for you.” 

“But hey, I wanted to catch up with you on the idea you had last night. I think it can really work, you know? And it’s a great idea, really sweet of you.” Sulu gives him an indulgent smile. “But let’s talk about it _later,_ you know?” 

Sulu then darts his gaze at Spock and Uhura with great emphasis. “I’ll message you about it! Catch you later, I’m meeting up with Chekov.” Then he gives Kirk a slap on the shoulder and brushes past him to leave.

“What?” Kirk asks Bones, swerving his head around to look at Sulu walking away. 

“Beats the hell out of me,” Bones replies. “Say, as much as I like frilly harp music, you wanna ditch for my quarters?”

Kirk drags his eyes away from Uhura and Spock. “Yeah, let’s go.”

\--

That night, Kirk dreams of Spock and Uhura. More specifically, he dreams of Spock and Uhura fucking.

It’s not as if he hadn’t ever thought of them fucking before, both while asleep and awake, because the idea of it is totally hot. What are two generally reserved people with a wild streak just barely hiding under the surface like together in bed? Does Uhura wear her hair down? Does Spock make any noise? Is Uhura bossy? What does Spock’s dick _look like?_

The thing is, this time he’s participating with them, and that’s new. 

And really, why hadn’t he thought of this before? Of them inviting him to bed, playing with him, vying with each other for his mouth, his body, his cock?

Sure, maybe he’s a little self-indulgent in this dream, but whatever, he thinks, it’s his dream. He can imagine whatever he wants. 

He realizes then that he’s right at the border of sleep and waking. His dick is hard, straining against his boxer-briefs. He is so turned on it is almost painful.

Still half-asleep, he slips off the boxer-briefs and starts running his hand up and down his dick lazily, smearing pre-come over the head with his thumb. His thoughts of Spock and Uhura and him become clearer and more concrete as they convert from a hazy dream to thoughts of his own volition. 

Kirk takes off their clothes, the same ones they wore for the Pendrobian’s party. He runs his hands over Uhura’s taut abdomen, then over Spock’s lightly hairy chest.

Uhura sinks down on top of him, her cunt enveloping him in slick heat. As she rides him, Spock kneels next to him and thrusts his dick in and out of his mouth, making him choke and gag – 

Kirk comes intensely, bucking up into his hand and shooting on his belly.

“Fuck,” he whispers, gasping. 

After a few moments, he wipes himself off with his boxer briefs and throws them blindly across the room. Then he rolls over, sleep already overtaking him again.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks later, the Enterprise crew is on their first shore leave on a little pleasure planet en route to the long-awaited visit to the supply station. 

Kirk wishes his yearning to cut loose would just be from simple excitement and anticipation. But his drive comes more from a cagey feeling, like something is driving him up the wall but he can’t identify what. It makes him want to get drunk and start a fight.

He desperately just wants to go out alone at least one of their nights away, but inevitably he ends up having various members of his crew tagging along with him for fun all hours of the day. It irritates the shit out of him, but ultimately he knows they mean well, whether they realize it or not. When one night Sulu innocently suggests that he and Scotty call their drinking contest a draw, he has the fleeting yet overwhelming urge to punch him. But when he sees him laughing, oblivious, he clenches his fists and forces himself to chill the fuck out. 

He decides the next morning that there will be no more drinking this shore leave.

Suspiciously absent from their nights out and their days lounging on the beach are Spock and Uhura. Kirk imagines that they’re just locked up in one of their hotel rooms, fucking each other’s brains out. 

Minus seeing them during work, they have been suspiciously absent from Kirk’s life since the Vulcan Lyre Incident as well. So when Uhura messages him that Spock and Uhura want to meet up with him, he is a little surprised.

_Spock and I miss you and got you a little present to win you back from the beer brigade. Meet us in the hotel’s courtyard at eighteen hundred hours,_ Uhura instructs. Kirk can’t help but grin a bit at the prospect of what they have in store for him.

\--

When Jim strolls into the courtyard at 18:01 hours, he sees Spock and Uhura sitting quietly at a patio table sipping on drinks, alone minus a few stray cat-like animals napping in the last rays of the dipping sun. The planet’s twilight is tinged pink, bathing everything in a soft, rosy glow. 

Spock, with his Vulcan hearing, notices Jim walking up first. He turns around in his chair smoothly and simply says, “Jim.”

Uhura looks up at him at that, and a slow smile spreads across her face. She leans over to pick something up in the patio table’s other chair, and Jim notices for the first time what it is.

“Is that a guitar?” he asks, dumbstruck. 

“Yeah,” Uhura answers coyly. “I hear you like to play.”

“I do,” Jim answers, still a little awed. “I haven’t had a guitar in years, though, not since leaving Iowa.”

“Well, what are you standing around for? Come, sit down and play your new gift,” Uhura teases.

Jim follows her directions dumbly, taking the seat where the guitar had been. He accepts the guitar from her carefully, then settles it into his lap to play. It’s beautiful – polished, real wood, with a simple filigree inlay curling around the sound hole. 

“Where did you even get this?” he asks as he starts to tune the strings.

“Nyota and I visited the interplanetary market nearby our hotel on our first day here, and Nyota discovered that there is a vendor that sells an impressive selection of Terran musical instruments,” Spock answers. Jim notices then that he’s absently petting one the cat-like animals sprawled across the top of the patio table.

“It was Spock’s idea, though. He told me how you used to play in high school to woo all the cute boys and girls,” Uhura adds. Her elbows are propped on the table with her chin resting in her hands, smiling lazily at Jim.

Jim ducks his head and chuckles. “Maybe I just liked to play, too. Ever think about that?”

“Then play us a song, music man,” Uhura replies, smooth as silk. 

She takes a guitar pick out of one of her dress pockets and leans forward to take one of his hands in hers. She places the guitar pick in his palm and curls his fingers over it. Then she leans back in her chair, studying him with a confident sort of curiosity. 

Jim clears his throat and fumbles the guitar pick into a proper grip, suddenly a little nervous. It really has been a long time since he had practiced.

He starts by strumming out a few chords, remembering an old song he used to play. As more of the song comes back to him, he watches his hands play music that he didn’t even know he had remembered, slightly amazed.

Once he’s got the hang of it, he looks up and sees Uhura and Spock watching him, their expressions soft and fond. 

When Jim strums out the last of the song, he pauses and grins. He knows what he’s going to do next.

“That was just a warm-up. I’ve got more,” Jim warns playfully, feeling heady. 

He starts playing his next song, something slow and romantic, his voice joining the guitar a few measures in. 

And like they had been singing duets their whole lives together, Uhura sings along with him, taking an octave up.

Uhura places her hand on Spock’s knee, taking moments here and there to look at him and smile around her notes. Spock alternately studies her and Jim, looking curious. 

Uhura also looks at Jim, too, and Jim finds himself wishing that the hand still resting on her leg would reach just a few inches out and brush against the denim over his knee.

The song ends, and Jim holds his palm against the strings to quiet them.

“Where did you learn how to sing so good, Uhura?” Jim asks.

“I learned how to sing so _well_ from being in my high school’s choir.”

“Touché. Is there anything you didn’t do?”

Uhura just grins at him indulgently. “Why don’t you show Spock how to play? He’s pretty skilled already at the Vulcan lyre; I’m sure Terran guitar would translate easily.”

“Just because they both have strings doesn’t mean anything, smart stuff,” Jim teases.

“Quit making excuses and get over here, smart ass,” Uhura volleys back, still grinning. She scoots her chair back and rises, signaling to Jim to take her seat. “Here, we’ll trade.”

Jim trades seats with her and positions his new chair so that he’s sitting closer to Spock. He takes the risk of looking up at him, and he almost wants to laugh at how carefully Spock is schooling his features into a neutral expression. He’s not sure how Spock still feels about him these days, but if Spock could stand to wrestle with him while topless and sweaty, then he can take being bossed around by his girlfriend while they’re both fully clothed. Maybe it’s worse because Uhura is actually right there watching them, though. 

Then it occurs to Jim that he has never spent time with both of them together outside of work. 

“I am curious to learn both the similarities and the differences between playing the Vulcan lyre and the Terran guitar,” Spock comments, a tiny smirk playing at the corner of his lips. 

“What a good answer,” Jim observes wryly. “Here,” he follows, then gingerly places the guitar in Spock’s lap before either of them can start over-thinking this.

“Okay, so,” Jim starts, trying to help Spock place his hands without actually touching them. “Here,” he says, somewhat impatiently, as he tries to position his hands by the wrists. 

“Jim, you can touch his hands,” Uhura says, a little exasperated. Jim and Spock look up at her.

“He won’t bite, I promise. Here,” she says as she leans forward to hand Jim the guitar pick that Jim had put on the table earlier. He takes it from Uhura easily enough, but then is a little more hesitant as he hands it to Spock. 

Their fingertips brush ever so slightly, and it sends a much bigger thrill up Jim’s arm than a tiny brush of the fingers ever deserves. 

“Okay, so…” Jim starts, suddenly uncomfortable by how quiet they’re all being. “If…Nyota says that it’s alright, then I’m guessing it’s okay then, Spock? She’s clearly the ultimate authority here, after all, am I right?” Kirk jokes half-heartedly, looking at Spock carefully.

Spock just raises an eyebrow at him. Jim, never one to quail, raises a challenging eyebrow back at him.

“I would like to clarify that in this situation, Nyota is only authority to herself. However, you have my permission to touch my hands, Jim.”

Jim can hear Nyota giggle lightly behind them. He looks over at her and raises his eyebrows at her meaningfully. Then he lets out a laugh himself, trying to shake off some of his tension.

He carefully moves a hand from Spock’s wrist to cover his hand. He twines his fingers over Spock’s so that his fingers grip the guitar pick over Spock’s. 

“Like this,” Kirk nearly whispers, then moves Spock’s hand to strum lightly. “The top string is low E.” He has Spock pick the top string. 

He continues like this down the strings. Once he starts showing him how to play chords, his hands becoming bolder as he places Spock’s hands as needed on the guitar. Spock lets him guide him wherever needed, concentrating fully on his instruction.

“He might learn more easily if you didn’t touch his hands the _entire_ time, you know,” Uhura comments out of the blue, teasing. 

Jim jerks slightly, not realizing how transfixed he had been, but recovers quickly. “So confusing, Nyota, I can’t ever tell what you want from me,” Kirk jokes back, feigning hurt. He releases Spock’s hands gently and looks over at her. 

She just grins at him and leans back into her chair further, clearly self-satisfied.

“Thank you for the highly attentive instruction, Jim,” Spock says, pulling Jim’s attention back to him. He tests out a few chords. “I feel prepared now to transpose a piece commonly played on the Vulcan lyre for you both to enjoy.”

“Wow, quit being a goddamn genius already,” Jim says sarcastically. Spock just lifts a playful eyebrow at him as he keeps strumming lazily. 

Jim catches Uhura’s gaze and they smile at each other knowingly. Uhura offers Jim her drink as Spock starts playing a tune. He recognizes it from the other night in the rec room, murmuring at him from his subconscious. 

\--

They’re back on duty the next day, and Kirk has got a spring in his step that he hasn’t had in quite awhile. After shift, he dials up Nyota. 

“’Hey there.”

“Hey Jim, what’s going on?”

“Not much.” Jim licks his lips. “Just wanted to know if you and Spock wanted to have another jam sesh tonight.”

“Oh, uh,” Nyota starts, then hesitates. “That sounds really fun, but I have plans with Spock tonight. Maybe another night soon?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool, this is pretty last minute to ask,” he says, hating how strained his voice sounds. “You two have fun then, okay?”

“Thanks, Jim,” she answers, sounding a little relieved. “Hey. I have your phrase-of-the-day for this week all lined up, and I’m sending out the first one tonight. This week’s language is Romulan.”

“Oh, Romulan?” Jim asks, perking up. “A bold choice.”

“Know thy enemy,” she replies mischievously.

“I’ll tolerate it as long as you start with the dirty ones.” 

“That’s not a bad idea. Maybe you’ll find out if Nero’s men were just telling you that you have a nice ass.”

“So you’re saying I have a nice ass?” he asks flirtatiously.

“Goodnight, Captain,” she replies, laughing. 

He suddenly has the crazy urge to tell her how much he likes talking to her, wants to keep her on just to hear her talk. 

“Goodnight, Lieutenant,” is what he says instead.

The line click off, and he flips his communicator closed.

\--

Back in his quarters, Jim has finished all of his paperwork, organized his files and calendar, and picked up all of his scattered PADDs and dirty clothing. Running out of things to do and nowhere near sleep, Jim makes the executive decision to masturbate.

He’s about to break out his dildo and lube when he hears a chime from the door. With a frustrated sigh, he packs his things back in his nightstand.

“Open door,” Jim grouses on his way out to the receiving area.

He stops in his tracks when the door slides open and reveals Spock.

“May I come in, Jim?” Spock asks, hands carefully clasped behind his back in his typical reserved stance.

Jim scrunches up his brow. “I mean, I guess, but I thought you had plans with Nyota?”

Spock steps inside and the door slides shut behind him. “Nyota had…” Spock pauses. “Nyota had forgotten that she had made plans with Lieutenant Gaila Uhu. Nyota suggested I spend my time with you instead.” 

Jim’s suspicion is immediately piqued.

“Oh, with Gaila?” Jim says nonchalantly. “Well, that’s odd for Nyota to miss something like that.” He turns on his heel and goes to fiddle with a PADD on the table next to an armchair. “Say, what was that pause for, Spock? It’s not like you to ever hesitate.” 

He looks up from his PADD to stare pointedly at Spock. Spock doesn’t break his gaze away.

“You know, I’d almost think that you were lying when you said that,” Jim says sarcastically. ”I know that Vulcans are pretty shitty at lying. It must be pretty hard to force it out. Were you lying to me?”

Spock takes a deep breath and lets it out with control. “Yes, I was lying to you. More accurately, I was repeating a fabricated story that Nyota developed.”

Kirk starts playing with the PADD again, typing random gibberish into a text file. “Why would Nyota want to lie to me?”

“Nyota decided to cancel her plans with me in order to address an unexpected work item. She informed me that you had extended an invitation to her and myself to spend the evening with you, and she asked that I spend my evening with you to ameliorate her declination of your invitation.”

“Oh, so, you two pity me, then,” Jim spits out, dropping the PADD back onto the side table in order to better address Spock. “She drops both of us to work, and she tries to make it up by sending you over to hang out with poor lonely me. I get it.”

Spock has that guilty look he’d had so often when he and Nyota had been broken up. “Jim, I assure you that no offense was intended by either Nyota or myself. We both have a high regard and deep affection for you.”

“Right, ‘deep affection.’ Did you know that Nyota told me about you, Spock?” 

Jim feels the ugliness of his words, but they’re out of his mouth before he’s even stopped to think about them. 

Spock looks at him warily. “What did Nyota tell you?”

“That you’re attracted to me, Spock,” Jim says nastily. He starts advancing on him slowly. “And that you’re ashamed of it. I guess you’ve gotten over that, huh? You just show up to my quarters uninvited and act like I’ll take you in. I bet you lied too about Nyota telling you to come here; you cancelled with her, didn’t you, so that you could have some _alone_ time with me?” 

By now he’s only two feet away from Spock. Spock looks as angry as he feels.

“That is a defamatory accusation, Captain,” Spock says, voice clipped. “I will not tolerate being spoken to in such a way.”

“Oh, what part’s the defamatory accusation? All of it, or just some of it? I’m thinking it’s just part of it. And I know which part isn’t just accusation.” Jim is almost in his face now.

“I am leaving,” Spock answers, voice practically a growl. 

Spock abruptly turns on his heel and commands the door to open. He’s gone without a glance back.

Kirk turns around and kicks one of the armchairs once, then twice. 

\--

Kirk expected an angry call from Uhura the next day. He hadn’t quite expected everything he was told, though.

“What did you do?” Uhura demands. Kirk jerks the communicator away from his ear.

“I told him the truth, Uhura,” Kirk replies spitefully. “Doesn’t sound like you two have the best communication if he was so shocked about what I told him, huh?”

“What I told you was a _secret,_ ” she yells. “Did I have to make that _explicit_ for you?”

“You know, this is bullshit,” Kirk yells back, temper spinning out of control. “He dumped you because he had the hots for me, and then you tell me about it, and then you two get back together and apparently don’t _talk_ about the fact that I know everything now? Not your best plan.”

“I guess so, because he dumped me again. Are you happy?”

Kirk is silent.

“I asked, _are you happy?_ ” Uhura whispers viciously.

“Yeah, maybe I am,” Kirk replies, voice low and mean. 

“Wow,” Uhura says sarcastically. “Wow, please think about what you just said.” 

The line clicks off abruptly. 

\--

Kirk gets a message from Pike the next day requesting that they have a video session.

“Hey Pike,” Kirk greets dully, slouching in his office chair.

Pike just raises his eyebrows at him. “Someone’s perky.”

Kirk rubs a hand over his face tiredly. “It’s been a long day.”

“You look like shit, son,” Pike replies matter-of-factly. “What’s going on in your world?”

Kirk sighs. “It’s nothing. Why did you message me?”

“I want to check in with you about your thesis. I really think you had something good there and I expect to see it completed.” Pike tilts his head expectantly, awaiting an answer. 

Kirk sighs again and looks around the room anxiously. “I don’t know if now’s a good time.”

“There will never be a good time,” Pike counters. “You need to fit it in. There’s no way around it.”

“Alright,” Kirk forfeits, feeling like a pushover but too tired to care. “Can you help me plan it out? I’m too new to this captaining thing to know how to do this on top of everything else I have to do.”

“You’re a big boy, Kirk. You’ll figure it out.” Pike smirks at him, fatherly fondness slipping into his stern authority figure act. 

“What a great advisor you are,” Kirk says sarcastically, smiling despite himself. “Alright, fine, I’ll do it. Maybe it’s the distraction I need right now, anyways.”

“Get some friends who are better at this sort of long-term thing to help you. You’ve got a phenomenally smart and dedicated crew, so recognize them for that. You’ll thank each other when it’s done.”

“Oh, you give me advice now that I’ve agreed to this? I see what you did there.”

“And look, you’re smart too,” Pike replies drolly. “Check in with me once a week to let me know how it’s progressing. Do I need to set a calendar event for us?”

Kirk considers this. “No. And if I change my mind, I’ll set one myself, on my own terms.” He smirks at Pike. 

“That’s the smartass I know. Alright, kid, I’m out. Until next week.”

“Until next week,” Kirk repeats, giving Pike a sloppy salute. Pike chuckles and cuts the video feed.

\--

Two days later, Kirk dredges the files of the thesis out of his data cloud, then immediately looks up the ship’s shift schedule. 

A few hours later, he saunters into the engineering command center. He finds Scotty and Gaila debating heatedly over the holo screens covering one of the walls, pointing and shifting data and images around with their hands as they talk.

“Do you two need a time-out?” Kirk cracks at them, loud enough to cut through their bickering.

Gaila whips around, her ponytail whipping around with her. “Jim!”

“Oh, ‘ello Captain,” Scotty greets cheerfully as he turns around halfway to look at him, a hand still poised on the holo screen.

“What’s the occasion, Jimmy?” Gaila asks. 

Kirk smirks at her. “Don’t call me Jimmy.”

“Well, out with it, Jimmy,” Scotty wheedles.

Kirk rolls his eyes. “I want to ask you both a favor. Pike’s my advisor, and for whatever reason he’s decided that I must finish my thesis at all costs.”

“Oh, your thesis? No sweat, that’s a piece o’ cake,” Scotty replies. “We can apply the modifications we’ve been making on our girl to your project. It’ll really round it out.”

“What’s your topic?” Gaila asks eagerly. 

“How understanding how your ship works is just as important as understanding how your crew works,” Kirk answers, then pauses. “I’m still working on the title.”

“Jim!” Gaila lightly smacks his shoulder. “Why haven’t you ever told me about it?”

“Uhm, I guess I never found a good time to?” Kirk answers a bit sheepishly.

“Yeah, I bet you two were otherwise occupied,” Scotty mutters under his breath. 

Kirk ignores him. “So what I want to ask you both is, will you help me finish it?”

Gaila grins at him, practically vibrating with excitement. Scotty gives her one look and huffs a laugh. Then he looks at Kirk and claps him on the shoulder.

“Well, lad, I think that’s a yes from the both o’ us.”

\--

Working with Uhura and Spock is, as expected, awkward as fuck, but not as awkward as Kirk had thought it would be. Where before Uhura had practically freezed him out and Spock had acted even more rigid and weird than he usually did, this time they just seem to regard him coolly and nothing more. It’s not uncommon during a quiet moment to pass on the bridge for Kirk to turn in his chair and find that either Spock or Uhura has been watching him, with a tinge of pity in their otherwise impassive faces.

Kirk finds he likes it far, far less than how they had treated him last time they had reason to dislike him.

Which is why he winds up yet again in Bones’ office right after his bridge shift ends, sprawled out in Bones’ desk chair.

Bones sees him from the med bay through the glass window of his office and scowls deeper. He approaches his office and passes through the sliding door without looking up from the PADD in his hands. “Is there a reason why you’re lurking in my office again? I’m at work, Jim, I can’t come outside and play right now.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re my favorite person, Bones. Did you even stop to consider that, old friend?” 

Bones looks up reluctantly from his PADD to give Kirk exactly what he thinks of his reason with a disparaging look.

“I don’t know, I think I got demoted when you made your new bridge friends,” Bones grouses, looking back down at his PADD again. 

“Aw, you jealous?” Kirk teases. “I knew you were jealous.”

“I will never be jealous of those oddballs you’ve taken up with,” Bones says, shaking his head. 

“They’re not oddballs. And we’re not friends anymore,” Kirk asserts.

Bones’ eyebrows shoot up as he looks up again. “Is that so? What did you do, Jim?”

“Why does everyone ask me that?” Kirk grumbles.

“Because it’s typically well-deserved,” Bones replies severely. “Tell me about it. What happened?” Bones sets down his PADD on his desk and looks down at Kirk. 

“No. I’m not talking about it,” Kirk replies petulantly.

“You’re a brat, you know that?” Bones shakes his head slowly at him and crosses his arms over his chest. “Fine, different topic. When was the last time you got laid?”

Kirk narrows his eyes at him. But when thinks about it, he hasn’t had sex since…before he started his project of befriending Uhura and Spock.

“None of your fucking business, Bones,” he says a moment later, giving Bones a defiant look.

“I’m going to ask you again, how long since you’ve gotten laid?” Bones presses. “I would have sworn that you were banging one or both of them, given how often you spent time with them.”

“I spend a lot of time with you and don’t bang you,” Kirk protests.

“An anomaly. And not without a lot of regular invitations,” Bones replies flatly.

Kirk grins at him wolfishly. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Bones rolls his eyes. “And I don’t trust you when you’re not having sex. The last time you went too long without, you decided it’d be funny to put an anti-grav holodeck simulator in the lecture room for Advanced Physics. I will never forgive you for that.” 

Kirk grins and leans back with his hands behind his head, reminiscing. “Oh, c’mon, it was fun, admit it!”

“That was before my exposure therapy, you absolute _shitbag,_ ” Bones replies viciously. 

“Well, when was the last time _you_ got laid, Bonesy?” Kirk counters.

“None of your fucking business,” Bones retorts.

“Well, then we’re the same in that way,” Kirk says on a laugh, too tickled with how surly he’s gotten Bones.

He turns to look back out at med bay. A petite blonde runs a tricorder over the face of a patient lying on a biobed, her eyebrows knitted together in concentration. 

She is very, very cute.

“Who’s that, Bones?” Kirk asks, going for innocent. 

“ _No,_ ” Bones says warningly. “No, you may not, Jim. Not with Christine.”

“Oh, that’s Nurse Chapel?” Kirk nods as he studies her checking on another patient. “I can see what all the fuss is about,” Kirk looks back up at Bones with a cheeky grin. “You like her?”

Bones gives him a withering look. “I mean it, Jim. Not with Christine.”

“Oh, c’mon, Bones,” Kirk tries to placate. “It’s not like you couldn’t touch her after I’ve touched her. What is this, the 21st century? Let a woman do what she wants to do. And if we’re lucky, maybe that will be both of us.”

Bones reaches down suddenly and flicks Kirk on the ear.

“OW! You asshole!” Kirk cries. “Fine, I get it!”

“You better, Jim. I really like her,” Bones warns. 

Kirk rubs his ear and pouts at Bones. “Why haven’t you done anything about it yet?”

“I’m taking my time, Jim. I work with her everyday, I want to be careful about this.”

“Fair enough,” Kirk mumbles. 

“Look, I’ve gotta stop at the lab before the end of my shift,” Bones says. “Meet me for dinner after?”

“Yeah, just ping me when you’re headed to the mess,” Kirk answers. 

When Bones leaves, he watches Christine spare Bones a distracted glance and a wave goodbye before being absorbed in her PADD again. 

Well, if Bones is going to take a glacial pace, then he still has plenty of time to make an acquaintance with her, doesn’t he?

\--

“I’m really sorry about this,” Kirk apologizes.

Chapel looks up at him with gentle compassion in her big, blue eyes. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Jim.”

“It’s just, this isn’t typical for me, y’know? Like, any of it,” Kirk continues, voice coming out higher than he’d like.

“Jim,” Chapel says, taking one of his hands in hers. “Everybody cries. It is very natural.” She gently squeezes his hand.

“Thanks,” Kirk replies lamely, pulling his hand back gingerly after she releases it.

“I think I know why you cried, Jim,” Chapel says soothingly. “And I ask you, what are you waiting for?”

“What?” Kirk asks dumbly.

“You know,” Chapel dithers awkwardly. “Since Uhura and Spock are broken up.” She leans in conspiratorially, “And I’ve seen the way you look at Uhura.”

“What?” Kirk asks again, just as dumbly.

“Jim, you adore her. It’s written all over your face every time you look at her,” she says dreamily. “And since, you know, both Uhura and Spock are single, now is your chance to get your woman. And I ask you, Jim, aren’t you brave enough to get your woman?”

“Um,” Kirk replies.

“They clearly aren’t a good match, the way they always break up and get back together and break up again. You can show Uhura now that the person she’s been looking for has been there for her all along, right before her eyes.”

Kirk looks at her blankly. “Are you sure this is me you’re talking about?”

Chapel blushes furiously. “Well, it certainly isn’t about me, is it? This is about you, Jim, and what you want. So go get what you want.”

“You…too,” Kirk answers slowly, suspicious. 

Chapel pats him gently on the shoulder, over the black undershirt he had tugged back on earlier in a fit of tear-streaked embarrassment. 

She gives him a warm smile. “You bet. And this night stays between you and me, alright? I won’t tell a soul.”

Kirk sighs, unable to contain his relief. “Thank you.”

Chapel winks at him dorkily. “No problem. Goodnight, Jim,” she says, then turns and lets herself out the door to his quarters.

Kirk, now standing alone in the middle of his entry area, sighs again, this time very, very loudly.

\--

Hell-bent on avoiding his problems, Kirk throws himself into his projects. Pike starts amping up his thesis with new deadline goals each time they check in, and if Kirk is anything, he’s a competitive asshole. Taking care of his thesis on top of everything else means that he doesn’t have time for fucking caring about Spock and Uhura, or just straight-up fucking, period. 

He tries to tell himself this, anyways, as he stares with bloodshot eyes at the holoscreen perched in his lap while curled up against the side of his bed. His fingers flyvover the keyboard as he works on the conclusion section of his thesis. 

Gaila rolls over in his bed and Kirk feels a foot nudge his shoulder. He hears her breathe in deeply, then her skin whispering against the sheets as she scoots across the bed towards him. She hooks her chin over one of his shoulders, a few red curls tumbling down to tickle his chest.

“Jim,” Gaila says, concern in her voice. “Get some sleep. It’ll be there in the morning.”

“I’m trying to meet my next goal,” he says tersely, eyes not moving from the screen.

“Jim, I know you’re a very determined person, but I’m currently in your bed naked, and you have taken zero interest in that. I am getting worried.”

“Why does everyone assume I just want to fuck everything that moves?” he snaps, fingers stuttering to a halt over the keyboard.

“Jim,” Gaila murmurs soothingly in his ear. “Something’s wrong. Want to talk about it?”

“No, and I really wish everyone would stop asking me that,” Jim says, and hates how much it sounds like whining.

“We just care about you, that’s all.” Gaila strokes the side of his head gently, running fingers through his hair.

Kirk lets out a long breath and sets the holoscreen on the floor. He leans back into her touch and closes his eyes, relishing it. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Gaila answers sweetly. 

“And it’s not that I’m not interested in you, you know. I’m just…” Kirk sighs, frustrated. “Not interested in anyone.”

“Mmhmm,” Gaila hums knowingly. “Right.”

“What does that mean?” He tries to turn his head to look at her face, but she stops him with a sudden grip on his hair.

“So how’s your other project going?” Gaila asks innocently.

“It’s going. It’s almost done,” Kirk answers. “You changed the subject.”

“I just know that I’m not the first person you could have had sex with recently but didn't.”

Kirk squeezes his eyes shut and lets his head fall back against the edge of the bed. “She told me she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Well, now you know how it feels to have someone betray something you thought was secret between you two,”

Kirk sighs again and rubs his eyeballs behind his eyelids viciously. “Why did I ever think that the entire ship wouldn’t know about all of my shit? Really, all of you talk?”

“Sorry, Jim, we’re friends. What’s that Standard phrase? ‘Secrets don’t make friends.'”

“‘But friends make secrets,’” Kirk finishes dully. “Yeah, that one.”

“That one,” Gaila agrees ruefully. “Well, maybe. I’m undecided. I don’t think secrets do any good ever. You’ve got to be as honest as you can be. You know, be frank with those that you feel attracted to.”

Kirk closes his holoscreen and abruptly stands up. “That’s a very Orion approach to life.”

Gaila grins up at him, tangled up in the thin topsheet. “I recommend it for everyone. You’ll get to see more of it tomorrow.”

Kirk huffs in amusement. “I’m gonna take the couch. See you in the morning at mission prep.”

Gaila rolls onto her back and watches Kirk go to another room in his quarters.

“Jim,” Gaila calls. “One more thing. That other project of yours? That’s as close as you’ll ever get to an apology.” 

Kirk pauses in the threshold of the door, back still turned to Gaila. “Roger that.”

\--

The next morning, Kirk, Bones, Uhura, Spock, and a gaggle of Security are gathered in the ready room, reviewing various notes and strategies for their diplomatic visit to Orion starting in just an hour.

Bones is doing one last tricorder scan on everyone. He’s scanning Jim when he announces to the group, “Again, remember, Orions are known for their strong pheromones. If you start feeling easily persuaded, if you know what I mean, take another suppressant hypo.”

“Wait, I never feel that way around Gaila,” Jim says curiously.

Bones gives him a look. “Right, I’m just sure you haven’t. And Lieutenant Uhu takes a different kind of suppressant daily to keep from driving the entire ship mad.”

“Really?” Jim asks, fascinated.

Bones furrows his eyebrows at him. “How did you not know that already?”

Gaila rushes through the door, looking out of breath. She’s wearing nothing but a glorified halter bra and loincloth, with some gold belly chains tinkling around her waist. 

“I’m here! Sorry I’m late,” she greets the crowd, pushing her unbound hair off her shoulders. 

Uhura grins at her and grabs her hands. “You look amazing!”

“The clan leaders would be pretty upset if I didn’t dress like an Orion! I miss my old clothes, anyways.” Gaila fusses with her loincloth, made from a thick, golden-colored material embossed with a reptilian pattern.

“So the dress code for Orions is a little more relaxed, I take it? I could really be into that,” Kirk says enthusiastically. “Will it look odd for the rest of us to be all covered up? Maybe we should try to fit in a little more with the local culture. Would they have some outfits for us to change into once on-planet?” he continues, then reaches for his fly to unzip his pants. 

“Oh my god, _stop,_ ” Uhura says, horrified. 

“Why is your first instinct to take off your _pants?_ ” Bones asks. “Don’t answer that.”

Everyone else in the room just looks uncomfortably between Uhura, Bones, Gaila, and Kirk, who slowly takes his hands away from his fly and raises them up in the air disarmingly. 

“Uhm, just kidding?” he tries, going for humor and falling flat. 

“Minus Gaila, for obvious reasons, each party is dressing as they normally do with explicit purpose,” Uhura chastises. “The type of mission this is and the state of the relationship between the Federation and the Orion Colonies calls for us to dress and act as we always do. This will communicate _volumes_ to them about how comfortable we are being ourselves around them and how comfortable we are with who they are.”

“Alright, I get it,” Kirk says defensively. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him.

Uhura gives him a disappointed look. “Did you even read the mission primer that Spock provided you?”

“I skimmed the mission portion,” Kirk confesses. “I’ve been busy with Scotty and Gaila implementing the warp drive improvements.”

“You mean that you’ve been working on your thesis project,” Uhura says flatly. “That is no excuse to be underprepared for a mission. As the lead researcher for the mission primer, does Commander Spock need to take your place as lead negotiator? I feel that at this point, he would be far more prepared to carry this mission out.”

Kirk just stares at Uhura's icy expression for a moment, shocked. Then he jerks his head to look at Spock, who is stone-faced, not betraying a single emotion and apparently not planning on contributing to the discussion.

He looks back to Uhura. “No. They are expecting me to lead, and I plan to stick to that. You and Spock will back me up as necessary, as you always do on diplomatic missions. Am I clear?” he asks sternly.

“Crystal,” Uhura says back venomously. 

Gaila just raises her eyebrows in prolonged shock but doesn’t say a thing. Like Spock and Uhura, Bones is, predictably, also giving Kirk a very disappointed expression. 

“As Orions find it offensive for doctors to be brought along in diplomatic proceedings, _as I learned from the mission primer,_ I will leave you all be now,” Bones announces curtly, then walks out of the room with a tense set to his shoulders.

Kirk is left standing there with Gaila still looking shocked, a bunch of awkward-looking Security team members, and a still-angry Spock and Uhura. 

Spock checks the time. “Captain, we are due to the transporter room now.”

“Perfect,” Kirk answers curtly. “Let’s go make this a great mission.”

\--

The diplomatic meeting had gone mostly well – the current relationship between the Federation and the Orion colonies seems preserved for the time being (tenuous and tense and defined by tolerance but never acceptance, with a begrudging agreement that Orions could join Starfleet if they wanted). Kirk isn’t sure if he should be proud or concerned that he finds their manipulative, fake flattery and charm so easy to mirror. 

The celebration after the meeting is, as they always are, less tense and much more fun. Kirk is begrudgingly happy that Uhura was right about how unguarded the Orions were with the Federation (or at least them as representatives), as they seem to not be holding back much, if at all, the hedonistic debauchery that is classic Orion hospitality.

The large den they are in is draped in rich, jewel-tone fabrics and lit dimly with candles and lanterns. Incense burns and lazy, spellbinding music floats in the background as scantily clad Orions offer drinks and finger food on platters. They and the clan leaders lay sprawled on plush pillows on raised platforms, soaking it all in. 

Since Gaila wants to be close to her family’s clan leader, Manam, she is lying next to her. This leaves Kirk right in the middle, with Uhura and Spock on his other side. For once Kirk wishes that the other clan leaders would be around to break them up a little, but the handful of other clan leaders are off mingling with the Orion servers and the Security team members. 

When Manam gets up to fetch a drink, Kirk leans over to Gaila to get closer to her ear. 

“Gaila, this is weird. Like, I think they all secretly hate me, yet they’re trying to charm the shit out of me. You’re not like them at all.”

Gaila gives a little tinkling laugh. “Jim, I’ve also lived on Earth and now a Federation spaceship for over ten years. It’s changed me a little. Besides, the _caju_ are just doing what they always do. In an Orion way, they actually really like all of you. Trust me, if they really hated you, they would let you know,” Gaila says consolingly. She looks up as Manam returns.

“Kirk,” Manam announces as she lounges back on her pillows. “Are these your mates?” she asks casually, signaling gracefully to Gaila, Uhura, and Spock.

Gaila hisses something at Manam, and the universal translator tucked into Kirk’s ear translates what she says as _“Grandma!”_

Kirk freezes, staring at Manam. “I’m not sure how to answer that question.”

“Do you mate with them?” Manam asks bluntly, starting to look irritated. “I can’t tell. You’re attracted to all of them and they are all equally attracted to you, but the scent is off somehow. It’s not strong enough.”

Kirk flickers his gaze to Uhura, who is very intently keeping her gaze forward.

“I am still curious as to what exactly you are asking,” Kirk hedges.

“It is a simple answer, Captain,” Manam says. “You are all highly compatible with each other, especially you and Lieutenant Uhura. Do you mate with any of them?”

“No, I don’t,” Kirk finally answers. 

“It is a shame. These are strong attractions.” Manam concludes, then looks up to scan the room. “The other _caju_ are being rude. I’m going to bring them back here.”

Then Manam is up and gone again, leaving the four of them alone.

“I’m so sorry,” Gaila apologizes, looking stricken. 

Uhura is still very pointedly not looking at any of them. “I’m going to get something to drink,” she says flatly, then gets up and walks away. 

Kirk looks at Spock. He just looks back impassively for a few moments before asking, “Should I go retrieve Lieutenant Uhura?”

Kirk looks back to the room and sees Uhura sitting next to the dancer’s stage, body turned away from the show, looking lost and withdrawn. She looks up and locks eyes with him across the room, then looks away quickly. 

Kirk looks back to Spock. “Sure. Please retrieve her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, the incident between Kirk and Chapel is shamelessly inspired by [gyzym's headcanon about them in the reboot universe.](http://gyzym.tumblr.com/post/50885574441/but-what-if-christine-chapel-and-jim-kirk-meant-to%20)
> 
> Also, Gaila's last name is borrowed from [Lunch and Other Obscenities](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5205), an Uhura & Gaila friendship fic that I love and made me want to include their friendship in stories. I recommend it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A scene from this chapter is inspired by the TOS episode ["The Enemy Within."](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Enemy_Within_\(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series\)) I really wanted to write something in which Bad Kirk is taken down before he can make what I will call here the Very Bad, Harmful, and Disturbing Choices he made in the original episode. Read the synopsis or watch the episode if you're not sure what I mean by that. Also, I'm pretty sure that Bad Kirk was given extra eyeliner to emphasize his BADNESS, and that's just hilar and had to be capitalized upon as well.

Once the mission is over, all he wants to do is talk to Uhura and Spock. Predictably, they both are conveniently never available. 

But if Kirk is anything, he’s a problem solver. So he spends a couple of days after the mission pushing through the last of his other project, then sends Spock a message.

“Captain,” Spock says as he walks up the hallway to meet him, as carefully restrained as he had been ever since that night when Kirk had made a real ass of himself. 

"Spock," Kirk replies. He looks down at his feet abruptly, suddenly nervous. When he looks back up, Spock is watching him, waiting, expression still too neutral for Jim to get a good read on him.

"I presume that what you wish to show me is not an emergency, but I would appreciate if you would reveal it to me soon,” Spock says.

Kirk gives him a hesitant smirk. “So I’m getting that you’re excited about my surprise?” Kirk turns and types a code into the keypad to enter the room before him. “I think that you’ll like it. Here,” Kirk says as he signals to the room once the door slides open. “After you.”

They step into a small, bare room that leads to another door, a small circle window in the door giving a glimpse to the dark room beyond. 

“This is the decontamination room,” Kirk explains. “Don’t worry, all you’ll feel is a slight warmth.”

Kirk types in another code in a keypad on the wall, and the room heats up slightly. After a few seconds, a beep signals that the process is complete.

“You’ll need to enter another code to access the room beyond. Spock, can you do me the honors?” Kirk show him the keypad to the second door with a smile over his shoulder.

Spock looks at him quizzically. “Certainly, Captain.”

“Okay then,” Kirk says smoothly, looking straight into Spock’s eyes. “The code is 2-2-3-0.”

Spock looks away with his brow furrowed, frowning slightly. “The year of my birth,” he mutters. He complies and enters the code. A soft gust of cool, dry air rushes over them as the door slides open.

“Mr. Spock, may I present to you a Vulcan terrarium,” Kirk says softly, gesturing to the desert before them, cloaked in night.

Spock looks at him then as if he were only really seeing him for the first time. 

Spock then walks into the terrarium slowly, awed. Kirk follows patiently, the light of the decontamination room dimming behind them after the door slides closed. 

Spock stops at the edge of the stone steps leading up to a raised platform off to the right. It overlooks a sea of sand dunes lit only by the reflected light off of Delta Vega. 

Spock turns, his face nearly completely shadowed. “Jim, I…” he begins, then falters.

“It’s a combination of replicated natural objects and a holodeck. It could have been a complete holodeck, but it was important for some objects to be real,” Kirk supplies.

“What parts are real?” Spock asks. 

“This area. The platform. The plants,” Kirk answers.

“There are plants?” Spock asks, sounding nearly overwhelmed.

“There are plants,” Kirk answers, humor in his tone. “Sulu helped me replicate them. There are replication codes available for virtually every Vulcan plant, but then he went above and beyond by tending to them for me and helping me determine how to keep them alive in here. Here, let’s go up to see them,” Kirk says, then leads the way up the steps.

The light reflecting off Delta Vega is even stronger on the platform, the area laid completely bare to the sky. The low edges, only about waist-high, are lined with pots and trenches filled with a variety of Vulcan plants, a variety of cacti, succulents, and scrubs evolved for Vulcan’s hot desert climate. A few benches and chaise lounges for seating are the only other objects on the platform.

“There is also a room underneath here, through an entryway under the steps,” Kirk explains. “That space is better for the daytime setting. It’s a little cooler in there without the sun.”

“Can we walk out beyond here?” Spock asks distantly, walking to the far edge of the platform to better see out into the horizon.”

“You mean on the sand?” Kirk replies. “Technically, yes. It’s a holodeck, so I’ve designed it so that you can travel several kilometers out in any direction beyond this base area. There are other natural features programmed into the holodeck that can be visited if you travel beyond the real space.”

“Fascinating,” Spock murmurs.

“Indeed,” Kirk answers with humor. "And...you know, I'm sorry. For what I said to you before." 

"Your apology is noted..." Spock begins quietly, then looks Jim in the eye. "And accepted."

Spock looks down in front of him and, hand shaking, gently strokes a Vulcan orchid bloom. The plant opens further at his touch. 

Kirk walks with careful steps up to him until he is standing at his side. Spock turns to him, his eyes shining wetly.

“Thank you, Jim,” he whispers.

Kirk feels a flutter in his heart that he's not familiar with. In a flash of panic, he realizes it scares him.

"You're most welcome, Mr. Spock."

\--

Kirk checks the Vulcan terrarium’s reservations log a few nights later and finds it clear. Guitar case in hand, he heads down to the terrarium. 

When he walks up to the platform, however, he finds he’s not alone.

“How did you get in here?” he asks Uhura.

She turns away from her gaze out at the horizon to look at him. She’s got the Vulcan orchid pot cradled in the palm of one hand, absently stroking one of the blooms with the other. It responds to her languid strokes. “Spock gave me his code.”

“So you two are talking again?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it? Just ‘yes’?” Kirk demands, taking a few strides closer.

“Yes, we’re talking again,” Uhura says, a little louder this time. Kirk stops, feeling pinned down by her fixed gaze on his guitar case, still clutched in his hand. He sets it down hastily. 

“We’re talking again, and he let me know about this,” she continues, voice softer once more. “If you wanted to say sorry, all you had to do was say the words, but this definitely gets the point across as well,” she says wryly.

“I’m sorry,” Kirk lets out in a rush. Tension he hadn’t even known was there drains away with the words.

Uhura regards him for a long moment, then looks to the side out at the desert again. “Spock and I almost broke up after the Nero incident. He wanted to go to New Vulcan to rebuild, and he wanted me to go with him. But I wanted my placement on the Enterprise. Part of it was that I just wanted the placement, but another reason was because I wanted to follow _you._ I believed in you and knew it would be a huge mistake to pass up the opportunity to work alongside you.”

Uhura pauses, watching for Kirk’s reaction with trepidation.

“You know, all you have to do to say sorry is to say the words,” Kirk teases.

Uhura rolls her eyes, smiling despite herself, and continues as if she hadn’t stopped. “And really, the only way I would have been able to decline my placement would have been to essentially marry Spock, and I refused to make that commitment then. As you can imagine, all of that really drove a wedge between us.”

“Refusing to marry him so that you could go on adventures with someone else would likely do that,” Kirk agrees candidly.

Uhura just huffs out a laugh and looks down, smiling. “Yeah, well, it gets even funnier. After an apparently very convincing conversation with the elder Spock, our Spock suddenly decided that he needed to accept his placement on the Enterprise as well. Something about how he would miss a friendship that would ‘define you both’ if he didn’t.”

“What?” Kirk blurts out.

Uhura smiles at him adoringly. “Go talk to the elder Spock. I can attest as well that he has some sage advice to dispense.”

“You talked to old Spock?” Kirk asks, still incredulous.

Uhura just shakes hear head. “Good night, Jim.” Then she walks up to him, hands him the orchid, and brushes past him to descend down the steps.

Kirk watches her retreating form, his heart fluttering again in that way that sends a shock of fear down his belly. He has never felt so lost. 

\--

As soon as Bones’ door opens, Jim barges in. He sets down his guitar case by the door and heads straight to Bones’ replicator.

Bones, sitting in one of the chairs in the entry area of his quarters, looks up from his book. 

“Most people say hi,” Bones says.

“Hi, what do you want to drink?” Jim asks, punching in an order for beer.

“None for me, thanks,” Bones says, then adds a bit hurriedly, “Jim, log into your own replicator account first, okay? Don’t use mine.”

Jim, who was about to search for the beer he wanted, pauses his finger mid-air. “Why?”

“I want to keep better track of my calorie and nutritional intake, and it gets all caddywompus when you go and order every goddamn alcoholic beverage you can think of out of my replicator account,” Bones grouses.

“You know, I really only order different types of beers,” Jim complains as he logs into his replicator account. He orders his beer and takes it from the replicator. “Not ‘every goddamn alcoholic beverage I can think of,’” Jim mimics, irritated.

“I’d like to see you convince a native Southerner that you’re from Georgia with that piss-poor accent of yours,” Bones mutters, then puts a bookmark in his book and sets it down. “Alright, Jim, why are you really here, if not to try and sabotage my calorie count?”

Jim sits down at the entry room table, facing Bones seated a few feet away. “Uhura and Spock are both attracted to me and I’m attracted to them.”

“Oh, you don’t say?” Bones says sardonically. “You know, I have to hand it to the lot of you, for a bunch of geniuses, you are all a bunch of plum idiots. I swear to god, if you’ve just now come to this realization, can you at least promise me that now you’ll take this knowledge and compel you three to grow up already? Your passive-aggressive grade-school antics are getting old.”

Jim gives him an incredulous look. “You mean you _knew_ this the whole time?”

“Yes, Jim! For god’s sake, you start spend every waking moment together, then start completely ignoring each other right around the time you start mooning around like a kicked puppy, and then the lovely Lieutenant practically commits insubordination and you don’t even bat an eye at it. Yeah, I’d say that something very obvious is going on between the three of you, and it’s time y’all just did something about it,” Bones complains, his accent growing thicker in his irritation.

“I _can’t,_ though,” Jim says desperately, gesturing pleadingly.

Bones pauses, considering him. “Tell me more about that."

“Because,” Jim starts, floundering. “Because, Bones, I can’t do that with some of my lead officers. We work too closely together to risk anything closer than friendship. And they’re together anyways. I just, I have to do what’s right for my crew, Bones, and that means doing nothing.” Elbows forward on the table, Jim slowly sinks his head into his propped-up hands, gripping his hair with his fingers.

“Well,” Bones says, softly. “I didn’t necessarily mean act upon what you’re feeling with them, but you really need to start doing something different.” 

Jim drops one of the hands from his head, showing his face again. Tears are tracking down his cheeks.

“Oh, Jim,” Bones says gently. 

“I don’t know what that different something that I should do is,” Jim says, voice trembling slightly.

“I don’t know either, Jim. But I do know that you’re in love.”

“Fuck you,” Jims says weakly.

“I’m serious,” Bones responds calmly. “Jim, have you ever been in love before?”

Jim sniffles. “I don’t know.”

“Then the answer is no,” Bones concludes, mildly amused. “You’ve ran through how many beings, and yet you’ve never fallen in love before now. And you do _nothing_ in halves, so of course your dumb ass goes and fall for not one, but two people.”

“Well, if you’re so wise about _love,_ then what should I do?”

“I don’t know, Jim,” Bones answers soberly. “This is quite unique. I can tell you that no matter what, don’t run away just because you’re scared of screwing it up.”

“I’m not scared,” Jim says petulantly.

“Horseshit,” Bones counters. “You don’t get close to people, Jim. I know you tried to sabotage what you have with them. You’re scared of getting too close to anyone, especially in a romantic sense.”

“Who says I’m scared of getting close to anyone?” Jim says defiantly.

“Jim, I’m pretty sure that the only people you’ve ever let in are your mom, your brother, and me. I don’t even think you’ve really ever let Pike in. As the resident expert on you here, let me tell you, you keep people at arm’s length. Your relationships, for the most part, are all charm, but little substance.”

Jim looks at him sullenly. “I don’t like what you’re saying.”

“Tough,” Bones says flatly. “It’s the truth. And sometimes the truth hurts.”

“How do you know that I tried to ‘sabotage’ anything?” Jim asks, jumping topics.

“Spock came to me the day after you spectacularly blew up at him for no goddamn reason with a grave concern for your well-being. It was _weird,_ and highly undeserved on your part.”

“He was worried about me?” Jim asks, surprised.

“He thought that even for an illogical human, you were acting a bit too illogically. Yes, he was concerned, because he cares for you, you idiot, even when you’re a little shit.”

“You know, you’re not being that helpful,” Jim says sarcastically, absently wiping his tears.

“I’m being plenty helpful, Jim,” Bones grouches. “Be grateful that I care about you this much to be this honest with you. And you know what else, Jim?” Bones continues, working himself up to being truly mad now. “Be grateful too that those you care for and care for you right back are right here on this ship with you. You can spend each day with them if you like, and yet you push them away. That’s pretty goddamn selfish.” 

Bones peels off the cover of his communicator then to take out a photograph of Joanna, cut to fit inside the underside of the cover. He holds it up for Jim to see.

“I keep this around with me at all times so that if we get stranded or imprisoned on some god-forsaken planet and are left to rot and die, I at least can still see my daughter. Jim, a piece of my heart is left on Earth, and I live with that every day.”

Jim notices then that Bones has a glass of that strange non-alcoholic drink from the Jaxthlnusians. They had given bottles and bottles of it to the mission team as a farewell gift. Though it burns like alcohol when going down, it does not have any effects otherwise. A few weeks after the mission had ended, Bones had asked Jim if he could have his bottles if Jim didn’t want them. The pleasant burn that everyone else likes just makes Jim's throat itch in a mild allergic reaction, so he had given his bottles to Bones without a second thought. 

Bones tucks the photo back into the cover and presses it back on his communicator. “Just, whatever you do, don’t be selfish,” Bones finishes. 

“Okay, Bones,” Jim agrees quietly.

\--

Jim sits on his revelations for a couple of days, working through everything while enjoying Uhura and Spock’s pleasant attitude towards him again. 

Then they start their geological exploration of Alpha 177.

The last thing Kirk remembers clearly is beaming up from the surface of Alpha 177 shortly after ordering Technician Nkrumah to have the cut on his hand checked out by medical. The rest is just scattered pieces of volatile mood swings.

First he breaks into Spock’s quarters, irrationally hoping to find Spock there. When he doesn’t, he tears into his drawers and changes out of his pants into those stupid faux-leather skinny pants Spock always wears on shore leave. Whenever the tunic Spock wears with the pants ride up a little in the back, Kirk cannot help but stare at the way the pants cling to his ass, and it is fucking _unbearable._

He steps in front of a full-length mirror in Spock’s bathroom and checks out his ass. They’re just as clingy on him, reminding him all over again.

Even more angry than before, he marches straight to Uhura’s quarters and hacks into her space as well.

She isn’t in her quarters either. Enraged and too hot, Kirk tears off his gold command shirt, leaving him just in the black undershirt underneath. 

There is her makeup. It’s all perfectly arranged on her vanity. Her entire quarters are more of the same, prim and impeccable down to the last detail. Kirk thinks about how much of an perfectionist she is, about how there’s a wild streak just lurking underneath, how she must sit there and draws the wings of her eyeliner on a little thicker before a night out on shore leave, and then he’s even more mad. 

He tears into her makeup, finds a kohl pencil, and liberally lines it around his eyes, flicking it up at the outer corners just to _spite_ her.

When he hears the doors of the entry area slide open, he jumps up and stalks to the entry room. He stares hungrily at Uhura, who just stares back at him across the room with her jaw dropped.

“Are…you feeling okay?” she asks hesitantly, pulling out an emergency phaser from the cubby next to the front door. 

“WE NEED TO TALK,” he yells.

She screams and shoots him. Stunned, he hits the ground. Then everything blacks out.

\--

Kirk wakes up in medbay lying in a biobed.

Bones hover into his line of sight almost immediately, running a medical tricorder over his head.

“What happened?” he croaks out, trying to sit up. Bones firmly pushes him down by the shoulder.

“Let’s start with the basics. Uhura shot you, well, one of you with a phaser set to stun. You’re 100% okay, just apparently still worn out from everything.” Bones checks the readings of the tricorder, giving it a satisfactory nod. 

“What else?” Kirk asks.

“Well, that’s what’s funny,” Bones says wryly. “Something with the transporter beam split you into two Jims. And lordy, those two Jims were major drama queens.”

“Yeah.” Kirk reflects for a moment. He’s starting to recall glimpses of the other Jim. There was a lot of crying. “I have to agree.”

“Spock theorizes that you were essentially split into your ‘good’ and ‘evil’ sides,” Bones explains. “Personally, I think it just split you into ‘mad’ and ‘sad.’ I swear to god, Jim, getting you back on the transporter pad to put you back together was a pain in the ass.”

Jim remembers that now too. Both versions had ended up lying down on the transporter pads. His evil half had been bound at the wrists and ankles and gagged to keep him prone. Conversely, the good half had volunteered to lie down and then had proceeded to weep loudly, apparently too abject to keep standing. 

“Sorry,” he offers. “I didn’t really understand what was going on.”

“That’s fine, kid,” Bones grumbles affectionately. “Just glad you’re back in one piece without a scratch.”

“Where are they, anyways?” Kirk asks.

“You mean Spock and Uhura?” Bones, typing things into a PADD, gives him a side-glance and a knowing little smile. “I’ll call them up and let them know that you’re awake.”

“Thanks,” Kirk says quietly.

When they arrive at his biobed together, Uhura smiles openly at him, and Spock gives him that warm expression he saves for private moments. Jim can’t help but give a dopey smile back at them. He feels his heart flutter in that strange way again, and he’s starting to like it.

They pull up chairs and sit on either side of him. Nyota finds one of his hands and clasps it in hers. 

“Hey there,” Nyota begins, warmly.

“Hey there,” Jim echoes. He looks over at Spock.

“I am glad that you have made a full recovery, Jim,” Spock says softly.

“Me too. And, hey, sorry?” Jim offers, looking at them both. “That was all really strange.”

“You tell us. The medical staff on duty had to peel Spock's pants off of you, and I had to supply them my makeup remover to get all the eyeliner off of your face,” Nyota chides gently. 

“I have very muscular thighs, and my makeup job was flawless until I was wrestled into submission.” Jim defends, playing mock-hurt. “And hey, you did stun me, you know. I haven’t heard a sorry for that yet.”

“You were stark raving mad,” Nyota replies, pushing one of his shoulders playfully. “Literally. I knew there was another, let’s say off-balance you running around the ship, so I figured I’d just put you down easy instead of taking the gamble of trying to reason with you.”

“Captain, Nyota informed me that your only exchange before she stunned you was that you insisted that you needed to speak to each other about something. Do you remember this exchange?”

Jim thinks. “Yeah, actually, now that you mention it.” 

“Well, I will inform you then that the other version of you was with me for most of the time that you were divided, and that version of you also pleaded that there was a need to speak openly about a certain subject.”

“Spock’s leaving out that you asked him this while weeping in his arms,” Nyota adds, trying not to laugh. 

“Hey, I was…” Jim looks at Spock, hesitating before his next words, and then decides, fuck it, he’s saying it. “I was emotionally compromised. Give me a break.”

“That you were,” Spock agrees, eyes smiling.

Jim goes quiet, feeling suddenly nervous. “I want to talk, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

“You haven’t talked to elder Spock yet,” Uhura clarifies, giving him a forgiving smile. 

Jim smiles back wryly, caught. “Yeah. I just, I’m still trying to figure out what the right thing to do is.”

“We will be waiting patiently,” Spock says.

Kirk turns to look at him, then reaches out and tentatively holds him at the elbow. Spock looks down at Jim’s hand, then back to his face, expression openly affectionate.

“In the meantime, can we peer-review your thesis?” Nyota asks, breaking the moment.

Jim laughs and lets go of Spock. “Yeah. It’s not done yet, though.”

“Good, let us read it then to make sure it’s not a total bomb,” Nyota jokes.

“I must conclude with Nyota,” Spock adds. “It is imperative that your reputation be maintained at such a critical time in your career.”

“Your words wound me,” Jim jokes drily.

Spock checks the time furtively. “Jim, we must depart soon to return to duty, but I must inform you of one last thing before we leave.”

Nyota sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Uh, yeah, shoot,” Jim replies, a little confused.

Spock raises an eyebrow, in what Jim interprets as excitement. “Nyota deceived you when she first competed with you at the Terran game of tennis. She allowed you to win the game.”

Spock then looks over at Nyota like the cat that got the cream.

“I promised Spock that he could get back at me for spilling about him by telling you this,” Nyota explains, resentful.

Jim just bursts out laughing.

\--

Jim, against Bones’ snappish insistence, returns to bridge duty later that day. 

It’s a slow shift, as they’re all still parked above Alpha 177 to finish their geological exploration. Uhura has one of the dog-like creatures from the planet curled up in her arms, stroking and cooing over it at intervals.

“You know, Captain,” she announces randomly, “You’re a lot like this creature here.”

“What, a dog?” Sulu asks derisively, then laughs at his own joke. Kirk, standing next to him, gives him a playful shove on the shoulder.

“No,” Uhura says coyly, stroking the spiraled horn coming from its forehead delicately. “Like a unicorn.”

“A ‘unicorn’?” Kirk speculates. “I’m not sure I understand, Lieutenant. Care to explain?”

“Look it up yourself,” Uhura teases, then turns to her station as something beeps at her. 

Kirk looks down at Sulu, who is biting one of his knuckles, shaking slightly with silent laughter that he’s trying to hold back.

“What’s so funny? What’s a ‘unicorn’?” Kirk whispers, irritated.

“Dude, seriously, just look it up yourself. There’s a whole old Standard databank that Uhura is pulling this shit from,” Sulu says, wiping tears from his eyes.

\--

Jim stars the vidcall with old Spock at their appointed time, his heart beating a little faster than he had anticipated. He hasn’t spoken to him since they had both been on Delta Vega. A lot has changed in the months since then.

“Jim,” Spock greets when he appears on the screen. “Hello there, old friend. Are you well?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Jim says hesitantly. “Look, I called you to talk to you about something. Is it alright if I talk to you about it now?”

“Certainly Jim. Whatever the reason, I am more than happy to talk to you,” Spock answers encouragingly, his eyes bright with affection.

“Okay, well, the thing is,” Jim says in a rush, “I’m apparently in love with both Uhura as well as…” he pauses momentarily, then builds his nerve. “The younger version of you.”

Spock raises his eyebrows, apparently surprised by his confession. Jim appreciates that his expressions are a little less guarded. “Oh, that is very interesting.”

“I have no idea what to do,” Jim blurts out. “What should I do?”

“Well, Jim, that is up to you to decide.” Spock then nods to himself, considering. “You know this already, but you are perhaps still hoping for some guidance to help you decide what the best course of action will be.”

“Uhura told me that she talked to you and you gave her some good advice,” Kirk supplies.

“Jim, this is fascinating for me. You are typically so sure and confident in what you will do, but here you falter. Why do you not follow your ‘gut,’ as your counterpart used to say?” Spock questions.

“Because my gut tells me that I want them and that I should take them up on their offer, but that’s the absolute last thing I should do,” he answers desperately.

“Why do you think that?” Spock asks.

“I…” Kirk starts. “I hate that she’s right, but my mom _is_ right; I’ve screwed up a lot of relationships as well as other people’s relationships before by just doing what I wanted, without really thinking of the consequences. And I can’t afford to do that anymore, not with my crew.”

“Your recent actions speak to this internal conflict,” Spock observes. “I know about your attempted affair with Nurse Chapel. Your initiation of such an encounter, knowing that it betrayed your dear friend’s wishes, implies a relapse into your past pattern of behavior. But the fact that you could not follow through on your intent implies that your desire for a particular two others runs quite deep.”

Jim pauses. “Are there any secrets about me anymore?”

“It does not appear so,” Spock answers candidly.

Jim sighs. 

“Jim, in order to protect the best interests of all in this alternate reality, I will share with you very few things from my reality. But I will share something from my time with you now, because I believe they will provide you some clarity.”

Jim boggles. “Okay, shoot.”

“The Jim Kirk of my time and myself eventually became involved in a romantic relationship,” Spock confesses.

Jim’s jaw drops. “No way.”

“It is true,” Spock replies, eyes twinkling. “There was a time beforehand, however, in which Nyota Uhura and myself almost became romantically involved. It never came to be, though, because her affections were eventually won over by another member of the Enterprise crew.”

Jim sits up straighter. “Who?”

Spock smiles enigmatically. “I limit my information there. I must add, however, that while Jim and Nyota’s relationship never evolved beyond friendship in my reality, they did share a deep affection for each other.”

“Damn,” Jim curses. “This is juicy stuff. I had no idea.”

“I reveal to you such history in order to supply you with information that may help you make the decision that feels right,” Spock offers sagely. 

“So you’re saying that I should get with them?” Kirk asks bluntly.

Spock huffs out a laugh. “Well, I suppose I am. Jim, your mother was ultimately right, even if it was not in the way she had intended.”

Spock then turns solemn. “I know how much strife this situation has caused you, Nyota Uhura, and my younger counterpart over the past several months, not to mention the second-hand strain the rest of your crew has experienced as well. Jim, you must do what is best for your crew, and the current state of affairs is far from what is best for everyone. ” 

“Got it,” Jim replies, just as seriously. 

“Now go get them,” Spock adds cheekily, one corner of his mouth turning up in a tiny smile.

\--

Jim almost goes straight to one of their quarters after his vidcall with the elder Spock ends, but then realizes, nearly delirious, that he’s not sure whose quarters to go to. 

So he stays put and opens up the old Standard databank. 

First he looks up what a ‘twink’ is:

_A term implying a young adult Terran male of ectomorphic build, with little to no body hair or facial hair. The term originated from its usage by “gay” Terran males, or Terran males who preferred sexual and/or romantic relationships with other Terran males, during the late 20th century and the first half of the 21st century._

“Seriously?” Jim asks out loud, derisively.

Then he looks up ‘unicorn’:

_A Terran person of non-monosexual and/or non-monoromantic orientation, typically but not always of female gender, who is or prefers to be involved in a sexual and/or romantic relationship with an established couple composed of at least two different genders. The ‘unicorn’ was expected to acquiesce to the preferred relationship parameters of the couple they were involved with, with the relationship parameters typically being of a casual nature that did not imply long-term commitment or full inclusion in the couple’s romantic relationship. The term ‘unicorn’ alluded to a general assumption that finding persons who were of a non-monosexual and/or non-monoromantic orientation as well as willing to be involved in a relationship with a couple who defined the relationship without the input of the third party was next to impossible, much like the existence of the mythical unicorn creature._

“This is such bullshit,” Jim says.

There are two footnotes for the term in the databank, locked and apparently only accessible by the creators as well as him.

He opens the first one. _Meet us on the platform. – N_

Then he opens the second one. _I believe that the addition of a specified time would be helpful. Please meet us at 21:00 hours tonight. – S_

“I can’t even believe them,” Jim says.

\--

When Jim walks into the Vulcan terrarium, it is set to the night setting. He ascends the steps to the platform. 

Once he reaches the top, he finds Spock and Nyota making out at the far end, silhouetted by the light reflected from Delta Vega.

Spock breaks the kiss and turns to the sound of his footsteps, no doubt hearing him with his sensitive Vulcan hearing before Nyota.

Nyota turns to look at him as well. Jim approaches, his footsteps sure, until he’s standing right before them.

“Just to be clear, I am no ‘unicorn.’ I have input on these relationship parameters too,” Jim says.

Nyota laughs at him, a beautiful, throaty thing, clutching to Spock. “Of course.” Then she reaches out a hand and finds one of his, pulling him in closer.

He has been this close to them before, but never at the same time. His heart pounding, he feels Spock slide an arm around his waist. Nyota drop his hand to reach up to his face and cup his cheek. She strokes his skin softly with her thumb, her hand smooth and warm.

“How did you decide you wanted this?” Jim asks.

”Wanted you?” Nyota reflects back. She cards a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why, but in my best vision of my future, you are both there.”

Nyota pulls him down and kisses him softly, once, twice. He reaches up to grip one of her hips and pulls her in more firmly, kissing her harder. He feels Spock nuzzling the side of his head, Spock's hand reflexively gripping and re-gripping Jim's waist.

”Jim,” Spock prompts. Nyota breaks their kiss and Jim looks at him. Spock’s expression is solemn. 

“In the wake of my mother’s death, I have realized how little time we may have to share our lives with others, and how that time we have should not be wasted in order to please the judgment of others.” He finds one of Jim’s hands between them, then gently coaxes Jim’s palm open to rub two of his fingers against his. 

Jim lets out a shaky breath as Spock looks at him intently. 

“What once would have seemed illogical now seems like the most logical choice there is,” Spock finishes.

Jim places a hand on the back of Spock’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Spock melts into it without hesitation. Emboldened, he nips at Spock’s lower lip gently, earning him a soft exhalation against his mouth. 

Nyota gives them an appreciative hum, nearly purring. Jim pulls away and rests his forehead against Spock’s.

“So we’re doing this?” Jim asks, voice rumbling with how low it’s pitched.

“Yes,” Nyota says, voice dusky as well. Spock then is the one to give an appreciative hum, agreeing with her.

Nyota reaches up for Jim’s jaw and turns his head to look back down at her. “But we’ll talk more later.” She pulls him down for another kiss.

Later, curled up in his bed with them, he reaches over to the potted Vulcan orchid on his nightstand and strokes the open bloom. Bending towards his finger, it opens even further at his touch.

**Author's Note:**

> Potential triggers:
> 
> \- Spock mindmelds with someone at one point without the person's prior consent. It is not done maliciously and the experience is positive overall.  
> \- At one point two characters are in a dark, small space for a short period of time. Neither character experiences panic from the experience.  
> \- Mentions of loss and grief.  
> \- Two minor characters are in a romantic relationship in which for a time one character is an adult and the other character is legally a child (age 17). The two characters do not have sex until the younger character becomes of legal age, however.  
> \- There are allusions to a character's past alcoholism and current recovery.  
> \- A character experiences homophobia and internalized homophobia. The character eventually seems to overcome these internal and external judgments.   
> \- A character breaks into another person's room at one point. The person whose room it is comes back while the intruder is still inside, but the situation resolves safely.
> 
> Please let me know if there are any other triggers that I have missed, and I will add them to this list.
> 
>  
> 
> [See the accompanying artwork here!](http://moku-youbi.livejournal.com/123477.html)


End file.
